Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Kahal Queera - Gagar

Traipsing up the hill,
Sometimes giggling -
the intimacy which two lovers once shared.
Whistling in the pines,
singing Lou Reed,
hoping for her around the next corner.

Racing with the setting sun,
the sun that recklessly paints the evening sky,
the sun that shows up occasionally through the silhouettes of pine trunks,
and pine needles filtering the last of light.
And he keeps going,
eyes dancing amidst the natural splendour,
ears alert for those whispers of the forest,
breath growing deeper, making the heart a tangible organ,
and the saliva along the jawline tasting like Mercury.

Running down the slope, now.
A sweeping glance across the landscape
describing an arc as if tracing a rainbow;
a rewarding sight indeed:
The dense greens fade
into lighter shades of green of the hill,
and then the eyes dive into a sea of dark gray of the sky,
which turns sweeter with every minute of arc of observation -
regal purple, into orange, into pink, finally merging into the blue,
the last blue in the sky for this day.

At one end of the horizon sits the moon,
silently stalking the diminishing sun at the other end.
The sun, like a regal figure, fades away in all its splendour;
leaving nothing but the shivers for the moon;
the night of the full moon, only a day or two away.

Too bad that he would leave without the scents,
of pine needles that clothe the forest bed on a warmer season,
and the full moon,
and the features of naked mountain slopes
lit in that white light.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Chance-romance expression template

Dear [INSERT NAME HERE],

If you're reading this it means I actually worked the courage to mail/email, so good for me.

You don't know me very well, but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how the writing is for me. This, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write.

There's no easy way to say this but I'll just say it: I met someone. It was an accident. I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't on the make. It was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another. The next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.

Now theres this feeling in my gut she might be the one. She's completely nuts in a way that makes me smile. Highly neurotic. A great deal of maintenence is required. She is YOU, [INSERT NAME HERE], thats the good news. The bad is, I dont know how to be with you right now, and it scares the shit out of me; because if I'm not with you right now I have this feeling we'll get lost out there. Its a big, bad world, full of twists and turns where people have a way of blinking, and missing the moment... the moment that could've changed everything.

I dont know whats going on with us, and I can't tell you why you should waste the leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good, like home, and you make excellent talk. That's gotta count for something, right?

Call me. I'm faithfully yours,
[INSERT NAME HERE]

Saturday, December 26, 2009

3 IDIOTS review

Here's a chronology of reactions/emotions through a show of 3 IDIOTS. I seemed to be in minority at the theatre, but suggestion to NOT see this film is one I can give with great certainty.

--------

What fuck, it shouldnt start this way.

Haha, his penis gets electrocuted.

lol, Boman Irani looks like Einstein.
Eeh, Boman Irani rides a bicycle. That does it for my image.
"नहीं भाईसाहब, अभी ज्यादा film नहीं छूटी" [to a couple arriving 10 minutes late]
Oh no, That US/Russia space Pen/Pencil hoax again?

Oh, wasn't expecting this song this early.
OMG, bathroom orgy in the boys' hostel. Sheild me!

Hah! I know Aamir would fix this flying thing.
ROFL, and now he hanged himself...
...pwnt, his own invention (that wasnt working earlier) conveyed his death.
Oo, Aamir is so against the system. Down with it.

Yech, there's Kareena. May she get crushed under the wedding pandal.

ROFL, funny speech. He replaced the words 'magician' with 'rapist' and 'support' with 'breast' using the Office 2007 "Replace All" feature. genius.

Yech, there's Kareena again. Where are those ancient Indian daggers Saurabh clicked pictures of - ones whose blades bloom like a flower inside the body?

Boring phase. Aamir just ranting about a failed education system and other things in a very loose manner. Chetan Bhagat, you fucktard and your fucktard novel.

Boring phase

Kareena again. Die.

INTERVAL

Boring phase

Boring phase

The is the stretch beyond Rohtang, towards Koksar. "Hey Atul, this is right after Rohtang. I've been here on a bicycle."

Boring phase

Boring phase

This is Darcha. I'm sure of it. "Hey Atul, this location is about 6 hours from Manali"
[dialog] R Madhavan/Farhan: "Lets go back, Manali is only 6 hours from here"
Yesss! Nailed it.

LOL, could it be any more melodramatic?
YES it can
OMG Aamir Khan would deliver Kareena's sister's child on the Table Tennis table.
OMG Aamir Khan is inside his Vagina trying to suck out the baby child.
OMG the dead baby child was brought to life by "all ij well" song
Atul: "film थोड़ी जल्दी ख़तम होती लग रही है" [after the grotesque delivery sequence got over]
Me: "अब और क्या देखना बाकी है?"
Some guy sitting besides us, to his wife: "Haha, उसने पूछा 'अब और क्या देखना बाकी है?'"

Ah, at least Boman Irani did rectify on that space pen myth.

Boring phase

Haha, his penis gets electrocuted

Pangong Tso! Please don't let it end here, at such a beautiful place.
And now they're onto the same piece of land that extends into the lake where me and Deepak lounged out (a wider view). Perfect. I wish I had a stone in hand.
SCHIZER. This is just sacrilege.

ZE END OF ZE MOVIE
---------

I'm happy to be spending only 80 for the balcony seats for this one at Pratibha. But I could've spent 60 had we gone to Novelty.

La ritournelle

Hm, returning back and setting feet on the soil of Lucknow was not as special as expected. Things seemed so in-place that I felt as if I've never missed anything. I guess I was expecting a City-17-kinda crumbling landscape to really feel shocked and nostalgic again, and draw images of the once-a-great-city. Perhaps a goat market on a Friday would've put me to tears.

Even the cold here is bearable. S and A were shivering like its the ultimate coldwhile having a fag at Kapoorthala last night, right before I was to comment on how disappointingly manage-able the weather outside is. Next on schedule is Novelty for 3 Idiots, Chowk for Matar Chaat/Bhaang, Koneshwar for Kesar Milk and Gomti Nagar (for nothing, really).

UPDATE: A couple of things that initiated the reverse transition:
1. Makhan malai - "They're increasing in numbers", my ma commented on the M&M vendors.
2. The winter party next door...garden, angeethis, chairs draped in white, and nawaabi guests

Fountainhead redux

Saurabh's comment to an earlier post on adaptation of great books into movies reminded of how bad some people find Ayn Rand's literature. Ayn Rand, in their opinion, cannot get through a scenario in under 50 million words (yeah, she's verbose!), always sketches the female protagonists as an image of herself, bashes any normalcy in our society, glorifies rape and justifies anarchist behavior that would put anarchists to shame. To top that, the cult of Ryan-ists is such an ego-centric, self-worshipping bunch that just reading their profiles would make your day.

PS: THIS TOPS
If your words are a meaningful progression of concepts rather than a series of vocalizations induced by your spinal cord for the purpose of complementing my tone of voice. If you’ve seen the meatbot, the walking automaton, the pod-people, the dense, glazy-eyed substrate through which living organisms such as myself must escape to reach air and sunlight. If you’ve realized that if speech is to be regarded as a cognitive function, technically they aren’t speaking, and you don’t have to listen.


IMHO
The Fountainhead was the story of a socially-crippled-but-talented Howard Roark. I won't go into discussing his Mauvaise Foi, but he surely seemed deluded. The good bits in the novel were outside of it - the 12-page introduction, for example, which was so lucid yet powerful... have you read it with that same affection?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

America India

"Surely must be an American", remarked Shaurya.
Her ways obviously gave that away - fancy but prim, loud, profusely overawed, gesticulating. All this over taking a photograph in Leopold Cafe.
And with that image of the explosive American came the contrasting image of the Cowboys, of American rural life in general - always seemed so quiet, reserved, serene.
I felt a rush at noticing that the Indian social setup was the other way round - the village folks couldn't stop talking, while the urban crowd formed a silent class that internalises all their feelings and can be seen sitting quietly and demurely at cafeterias and bars.

Rapid Action Mechanism

"Live every day of your life as if it were your last". I've heard that crazy pessimistic meaning of life so many times.

For those seeing death at the end of the day anyways, my yesterday's realisation would be more profound
Live every single day so, that even if you die by the end of it, there will be no regrets. The day should build up and leave you on such a high that you are supremely confident of your purpose and virtues. There has to be no evaluation. There has to be no could-haves. Preliberation is the word for the day, and bliss is the only parting way.
Something at the edge of the counter catches his eye, and he reaches for...

CLOSE on a framed PHOTOGRAPH as he picks it up: It's the photo we saw earlier of him, Carolyn and Jane, taken several years ago at an amusement park. It's startling how happy they look.

Lester crosses to the kitchen table, where he sits and studies the photo. He suddenly seems older, more mature... and then he smiles: the deep, satisfied smile of a man who just now understands the punch line of a joke he heard long ago...

LESTER (cont'd)
Man oh man...
(softly)
Man oh man oh man...

After a beat, the barrel of a GUN rises up behind his head, aimed at the base of his skull.

ANGLE ON an arrangement of fresh-cut ROSES in a vase on the opposite counter, deep crimson against the WHITE TILE WALL. Then a GUNSHOT suddenly rings out, ECHOING unnaturally. Instantly, the tile is sprayed with BLOOD, the same deep crimson as the roses.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Ferrari owner who was reduced to a monk

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is a really helpful book - it helped me pin down exactly what 'ovverrated piece of hyperbole' means. Its hard to believe that Robin Sharma sells. My instincts hinted at something banal as soon as Mr. Success left all his material possessions and flew to India to 'heal'.

My great virtue of patience took me through the entire book - hey, I dont expect miracles, but do expect some redeeming feature in a book that has been on so many bestseller lists. Friends all along confirmed that they were either advised against reading it, or themselves left the book midway - they could've never been more accurate.
I'd really want to file a case against the author for just taking some general book on Indian spirituality and Hindu/Buddhist idealism and masking it as a conversation between two white men.
If this book were walking down the street, I wish it were run over by a truck.

One part of why I found everything in there so intimidating was that spirituality has a much bigger context than than this layman's how-to. Having traveled to several places that are popular on the spirituality/religion map (though solely in the name of travel) it is easy to confirm that the 'higher dimension' that the book speaks of is excessive simplification and alteration. This book only mystifies YOUR LIFE.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Heat and Dust

4 nights back, at about 2 am, I progressively regained full consciousness from my slumber because of an interesting film on the tele. I had my plans of reading, which got delayed for another day, so captivated was I by that film. Though the generations depicted and emotions that played out on the screen were alien to me, I felt a connection, a familiarity, a great grab of nostalgia. It added to my reveries of a more interesting life, and I spent another day browsing around for more on that nameless film that had Shashi Kapoor playing a Nawab in the pre-independence era, and one magnificent lady (in the years of hippie-dom) tracking down the history of another magnificent lady who was a foriegn officer's wife and a muse to Shashi... Heard of James Ivory? Ismail Merchant? Heat and Dust? Yesss, thats the name.
These people must've made a few good, nostalgic movies on similar lines, I've got to have 'em all.

Read about the concept of a secret santa at reddit, that was such an amazing idea that went like a fairytale at this festive time of the year.
I learnt yesterday that not only did I get a Google Wave account back in November, but I even created waves and discussed irreverent things with my irreverent friends. That must've been on some strange forgettable night.
New to my place is the installation of Counter Strike on the machines. Soon we'll start with the killing.

4am post

One thing NOT exciting after having a minor accident is having a minor throat infection, then minor fever following that, and upon that subsiding, discovering a minefield (of ulcers) at the roof of your tongue. That puts me close on the heels of Chandresh in the 'what-worse-could-happen' list, who contracted dengue while recovering from his accident and had to be hospitalised.

Woke up in a disarray - at 0350 in the night. This was either because of my throat, or the chilly clime, or the mosquitoes, or a missed call from 3AM friends, or untimely bowel callings. Then coffee, then that discovery at the roof of the tongue, then picking up the unpaid phone bill and going through the precautionary swine flu symptoms listed in the footer and fretting about a more epic tale of illness, then trying to inch ahead on "The Monk who Sold his Ferrari" (and hating it), then boiling some water and fretting about the unpaid phone bill, then settling down with the machine.

In the blank phase that persists for upto an hour when you wake up and find yourself staring aimlessly into the kitchen sink, I might as well blog.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

current aural phase

The Flaming Lips' cover of Madonna's "Borderline" is amazing. And Anu tells me that they'll be performing entire Dark Side of the Moon on the new year's eve. I bet its going to be the most amazing performances on planet on that day.

Kaminey's "Pehli Baar..." (पहली बार मोहब्बत की है) - The title of the song can mean either 'debut of love' or 'having loved for the first time', both of which hold a completely different meaning, and make it all the more interesting to figure out.

Air's Sexy Boy and All I Need have become a bigger turn-ons recently.
Ou sont tes idoles, mar rasees, bien habilees? pwnt.

Some things lying around, but recently heard, and saw their way straight to the bin:
Moby - Wait for Me
Interpol - Our Love to Admire
The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium
The Mars Volta - Frances the Mute

I'm on a campaign to erase all my moodswing music that was never liked a second time. Suggest me good stuff, PLS.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Fish and water analogy

A fish will always be the last to know about the existence of water.

Or as it goes in the form of a parable:
There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"


The most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about. The split between two people, regardless of their facticity, comes from this fact - one realizes the reality of the connecting mediums of life better than the other. The oomph factor. Actions take on a more sincere form, and appear more meaningful, because there is also a conscious concern for these hard-to-see factors.

We all start finding a crisis in our lives sooner or later, because by the time we're into size 9 shoes (um, size 6 for the girls?), we have already learnt and practised the mundane things that constitute the framework of LIFE. Then things start to get boring, days seem endless, night lose their meaning, the novelty of seeing faces wears off. What about those more mature characters we see and praise and idolise? They come from the same background and learn the same framework, but they find the novelty of discovering the existence of their water.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Bicycle accident (04 dec)

I hurt myself today,
To see if I could feel.
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real.

...except that besides pain, I saw the callousness of Mumbai traffic, the greed of autowallahs and the assumptions of our society. And no, I didn't focus on the pain, but on the subconscious mind that was already expecting it, and on the face of Lance Armstrong as he welcomed me into the podium of cyclists who've met awesome crashes.

You see, I had an unbelievable accident on my bicycle today - unbelievable for many reasons, including the filmi escape from a concussion even after going head-on at 45kmph, and only minor cosmetic damage.

(lyrics above from NiN's HURT - a song running in my head through 2008)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

We will never grow up, will we?
Being cultured in a culturally insipid culture, everybody remains frozen in a state of infancy past their teens. Speak about expanding horizons, and all that we will dream of is having a Fosters or Kingfisher. Speak about having personal life, and everybody will try to dig deeper into the flesh of your existence, a childish curiosity. Speak of love and it HAS to be a simple duality with another person.

We should help others help ourselves.

Friday, November 27, 2009

dont believe in these

People are always taken for a ride
having the internet makes it all the more easier

Remember the one about Russians outsmarting the Americans by using pencils?
HOAX!

Remember the one about a speech from Lord Macaulay praising Indian society, and the need to break that society for complete domination?
HOAX, YOU IGNORANT BASTERDS!

And the one about an Alice (substitue any other cute name), just a few months old, dying from Cancer?
EMOTIONAL ATTYACHAAR!

And the one about some [south] indian making a computer to beat Microsoft (sic!) and 50% of NASA having Indian blood?
UP YOuRS!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Small things

Remember those Chinese ink pens you used for your board exams? "HERO" might ring a bell...Abhishek got one today, for nostalgia (masked as a need for office use). Only now we find out that Hero is a major chinese pen manufacturer. Magically nobody's made their clones, or launched a competing brand. Then pen still costs a mere Rs30, and a bottle of Chelpark ink would add another Rs12 - that was our arsenal 8 years back. With talks of our dear Hero came flowing down names of Add, Uni, Pilot, Schneider, Parker, Sheaffer, Lami, and those nerdy PEN FIGHTS.

SO it happened that I got into a minor conversation about the himalayan side of hills earlier today, with a work colleague. And then I could feel the threshold approaching, the all wanderlust craving to spill out.
"There are people who always find the grass greener on the other side"
"Those are the people with only one grass to live for. Some fall in love with the grass all around them"
Valley of Flowers crept into the head, and I was actively daydreaming. And then I was reminded of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance, since we were working towards a delightful Chautaqua...Alas, Pirsig not being common between us, and the call of Ping Pong, and our thought was interrrupted.

Yu know: I smell like prawns tonite.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Today went by 10 minutes back. And it went so predictable. Things got so highly predictable that I could flaunt rash guesses about the day. The ping pong table also saw me counting for 100% occupancy, and mixing my play to keep rotating opponents. Maybe it's just a new cool/clairvoyance that I woke up with.
Anyways, the day's gone and so is the cool. I just cooked myself a sad dinner of over-salted, over-boiled, and pseudo-fungus-laden potatoes. I hope they evade my digestive system. The new day brings with it a weariness, with a despondency about not watching enough movies lately, and anxiety about which office space we'd be populating starting today.

Here's one to two bars of Snickers schokolade. If you GET this connect, do tell me.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Hot Sultry Indian girl names

विचार मंडली: Pande, Rao

Names ending with A/AA:
  • Devika sounds very hot. The promiscuous city girl in Dev D was also named Devika.
  • Deepika also reminds of somebody you'd want to meet. And no, Deepika Padukone doesn't count in this subconscious deduction.
  • Shilpa reminds of wide proportions.
  • Shilpi, on the other hand, sounds artsy and exotic. 'Shilp Kala' is the art of stone carving.
  • Maneka sounds bitchy - probably for its background of Maneka being the seductress to sage Vishwamitra.
  • Neha sounds good, desirable. But it's so common that it can be a turnoff - like Abhishek for guys.
  • Ankita doesn't ring any bells. It's like staring into a blank paper curtain - there can be anything on the other side.
  • Yuvika sounds cultured.
Going random
  • Ritu is something cheerful, not sultry.
  • Rituparno sounds hot. But then its a guy's name. There's Rituparno Ghosh.
  • Rituparna is a bit less-hot. But its a girl's name. There's Rituparna Sengupta.
  • Monica, though sounds exciting, is too unpredictable. Almost always disappointing.

Girl names that are Guy names + the 'matra':
  • Vibha (Vibhu) is confusing.
  • Manisha (Manish) sounds sultry.
  • Kritika (Karthik?) is interesting. Too long to pronounce and traditional.
    Kriti is smashing. There's a hot and upcoming model by that name
    Kirti isn't. Just okay.

And then, in a flash of genius
Lipika. omfg, LIPIKA.
what does that remind you of? This name is now labeled NSFW.
We have found the ULTIMATE HOT GIRL NAME!

DISCUSSION CLOSED ||

Friday, October 23, 2009

Om Darbadar - T3H ORIGINAL Brass Band Song



This gem from Om Dar-ba-dar (1988), that made for inspiration to Anurag Kashyap for our beloved "Emosanal Attyachaar" in Dev D. Why it hasn't gone viral amazes me.
(try to decipher it by yourself on the first go)

A. A. A.
मोहब्बत हमसफ़र हो जा |
B. B. B.
मोहब्बत हमसफ़र हो जा |
A. A. A.
मोहब्बत हमसफ़र हो जा |

मेरी जान AaaaaaaAaaaaaaAaaaaaaAaaaaaaAaaaaaaAaaaaaaAaaaaaa
मेरी जान BbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbb
मेरी जान BbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbbBbbbbbb
मेरी जान CCCCCCCcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

प्रीतम आ सितम्बर सबसे हसीं मोहब्बत का महीना |
प्रीतम आ सितम्बर सबसे हसीं मोहब्बत का महीना |
प्रीतम आ गले लग जा
गले लग जा..
गले लग जा......

दिल टूट रहा है,
जाँ जल रही है |
दिल टूट रहा है,
जाँ जल रही है |
Ice age, baby
Ice age, baby
Oh my bride/fried (??)
Oh my fraud (??)
प प प प प पौं

Its like a sea, baby
Its like a market, lady.
Its like a sea, baby
Its like a market, lady.

मिथ्या है संसार,
माया है संसार |
मिथ्या है संसार,
माया है संसार|

Its like a sea, baby
Its like a market, lady.
Its like a sea, baby
Its like a market, lady.

मुंह पे लगाया पाउडर,
बालों में scent डाला,
होटल में रात काटी,
Theatre में दिन गुज़ारा |

मुंह पे लगाया पाउडर,
बालों में scent डाला,
होटल में रात काटी,
Theatre में दिन गुज़ारा |

नये fashion से,
नयी position से,
नये fashion से,
नयी position से,
बोलो फ़कीर/फंसी (??)
दिल में क्या फंसी/पटी (??)
फिर भी मैं !

Monday, October 19, 2009

laptop disc drive woes

Dell laptops - the one I have - come with a slot-loading drive. They are convenient and trendy. But as it is, once it goes kaput, it stays so; once you lose a disc in there, there's no way of having it out other than having it disassembled. You can guess where I'm getting to...having one of my discs stuck inside one such slot-loading drive.
Luckily, a few parts on our computer systems are still mechanical - the DVD drive, for instance. And the best way to handle a hopeless mechanical fault is to leave all logic behind, and try beating the crap out of it...we've been doing the same with our TVs, radios, walkmans, and lots of other possessions. Remember our elder brothers/sisters giving a swift smack to appliances, like it were a professional art? When we grew up we were nervous if our smacks would stand upto their quality, but as we found - they just work, regardless of your palm size or geolocation.
You can guess where I'm getting to...my rogue DVD drive now ejects those discs after the methodical abuse. But this one is an irritating and insulting process: firstly, because it works with the help of gravity; second, because it depends on a narrow probability that the tap/smack and the moment of ejection of the disc are in perfect sync. The first of the reasons makes for some really awkward positions to hold the laptop in. The second gives a sore hand, a lot of amused attention from others around you, and a good chance of having everything other than the disc itself thrown out.
When the moment finally arrives, its an ecstatic feeling - like having a baby delivered right into your lap.

HAPPY DIWALI

Happy Diwali (by uhbiv)

Following up on what I had written an year back, on this same occasion. The kitsch would always remain a constant.
I'M LOVING IT

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Talk to the head

Thought has no physical boundaries. That keeps me going much through the day and through the days. Thoughts, characters and places from the past - a past that is a cased painting, by some third person, some other me in some other time. I can only critique on it, but can't paint over the gaudy details. A landscape living inside a really tiny head, much like ten billion others.
Recently most of what I've been dumping on the blog has been the ejaculate of the imagination. Ejaculate would be just right for it, since it has only become a leisure activity; no solutions. On another hand, that might be my perception only because I'm locked into a job now. There's no higher purpose thats possible - not inside the contract with my company, for sure.

For a thought, thoughts just makes things inside us more complex so that more complex things outside us seem easier.

Realising the hegemony of the head is scary. By my deduction, it leads to the exact character that I feel disgusted at, much of what litters our country. So now I can close my day with an awkward pause, and think about a shift. "Think", yes, back to the head; that was completely involuntary, damn.

Their

Fragility. Don't ride on it.
Honesty. Don't derive from it.
Desire. Don't stem your greed from it.
Need. Don't plot a strategem on it.
Concern. Don't blow up a balloon.
Dreams. Don't isolate yourself this soon.
Expectations. Don't chain your head.
Too late, you philosphy fuck, now go to bed.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

psychedelia

Psychedelia relates to altered perception. Its odd why people find that repulsive, scary; it, after all, has given us copious amounts of art and ideas, things caged inside us. (we've learnt) It takes a hit of lsd to get there fast, and other smaller drugs to have a half probability of getting there. Fortunately and Unfortunately, to me, those vivid sensory experiences seem to come often, naturally - unfortunate part is the impotency to recall them in entirety, or build from them. Its brings nostalgia, a romance, then bewilderment, then escape from memory. Real lofty, colorful, magical things, getting lost with the gain of complete consciousness; sometimes makes wonder if life should relate to the daily grind, or to the very tangible world that we transition into. "How's life" should ideally be replied with an evaluation of the fertile nature of our minds outside our robot character and biological processes.

And no, its not a fractured thread of thought, like something that online translation returns to the first couple of lines of lyrics to this song
मैं तुम्हारे दिल के अधिकारी करेंगे
तुम मेरे साथ कुछ समय बिताना होगा

Escape into a moonlit night, walking through pine forests, through open glades, bright mooon filtering through the fine pine needles, scattering into millions of diamonds upon striking the now-settling dewdrops on the bed of grass.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Blood bond

Tearing through the cardboard and plastics protecting it, I formed a deeper bond than imagined. So it happened that in the haste, I had brought out my pocket knife, and sliced through my right index finger shortly thereafter. The cut was deep, as the involuntary jerk had presaged, and in a matter of seconds I had the blood oozing out.
But I was careless enough to not be deterred. In another few seconds I was on the road towards GF, heading back home after a final deal and a financial day. All through, repeatedly, I had the blood spreading over the surface of my index finger, and then dripping onto the asphalt of Western Express Highway. My spontaneous solution was to suck it all up, like a lollipop, but that wasn't a very efficient process, evidently. So in unequal portions, my precious was distributed between: the road, the handlebars, back into the body (though not the same thing).

At Home, staring into the mirror, my lips were as if coated with glossy black lipstick - dried up blood. It would've been funny had I stopped somewhere for sundries. But my contract with the road and my new bike should mean more, now that its written in blood.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Testinz brakes mai hartz

So, my employer (for the current timeframe) has mandatory evaluations for all us new folks. Those who don't pass, get another couple of retries, which is generally enough to filter out the worst from the absolutely worst; and then the absolutely worst get thrown out.
Because of a buggy software that evaulates our tests, most of us find ourselves failing. The first time it happened, mass comic hysteria ensued. But the second time around, there was a deep silence. Slowly, things healed, and took the form of a mass agitation. But in that hour of silence, things pulsed in an intangible blob: of emotions and tempers; faces white with horror and tounges ready to tear through anything said lightly, threatening eyes.

But they don't get it, do they? Nobody's at loss here - being in the majority equates to being in power, and able to voice dissent; being in minority means being safe anyways. Moreover, the failure isn't supposed to be taken as a realisation to anything. What's to take from it...nothing. Just leave back blank, or surprised; then go and play Ping Pong or fatten up on [much-needed] sugary foods. Recall all those 'failures are stepping stone to success' quotes again.


This explains a physical detail of those lacking failure-handling-mechanisms, a defect more common to the female species, as has been emperically found.

Some name!

Learnt some history today.
(And snickered like schoolchildren)
this banner somewhere in Bandra W, Mumbai

Scores 0 on the politically-correct scale
(But then you wouldn't laugh at one Mr. Widephallicgirth, would you?)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

iPod at high altitudes

The iPod Classic specsheet says:
Maximum operating altitude: 10,000 feet (3000 m)

Let me recollect

  • China Peak, Nainital, @2700m

  • Leh, @3500m (remember sitting broke in the compound of our cheap guest house, contemplating arrangement of funds, listening to Keane's "Bedshaped")

  • Chang La, @5300m (on way back from Pangong Tso, with nothing better to do)

  • Ranikhet, @ altitues between 1800-2500m (spot those ipod earbuds there?)

Crabbed out

pincer के दो आगे pincer, pincer के दो पीछे pincer|
आगे pincer, पीछे pincer बोलो कितने pincer?

Had crab for dinner last night! what a monstrous thing to dissect through. I went straight for the pincers. In a land (or a newly moved-into apartment) sans hammers or shell-crackers, I proceeded with wrestling with every joint and ligament, ripping them apart with my bare claws, cracking open the shell with my teeth, sucking in the alien juices, and discovering general anatomy of the crustacean. Large crab, and a proportionally large effort. Karthik and his ma (who'd got the crab for us all the way from Vishakhapatnam) were amused seeing me adapt to it.

Youtube nationals start by teaching you to break open the crust, disposing it away, and savoring the innards. I rather consumed it all - the calcium-y shell in small chips, breaking them off, then grinding them with my semi-healthy teeth; still waiting for my tummy for final report to that.

It is hard to imagine being put in a boiling cauldron, die, coagulate into a lump, then being savoured - that too on a scale of millions each day. Chopping off heads, like we do to hen, is much less cruel - though this cruelty starts on a whole different scale.

Monday, September 21, 2009

That guy who's always looking at pictures of men

"What are you looking at?", asked a girl inquisitively. She had been annoyed/distracted by my engagement with scrolling through pictures of men on the office computer screen - shy, introvert men posing no different than how they would for their matrimony pictures, or on adultfriendfinder. It was a happy moment to see somebody taking an interest in my interests, but an awkward one because her interest was on a thought/assumption plane that could only project me as a deviant. I immediately rubbished her notions by questioning back if she knew any of the faces. She obviously didn't.
There might be either of the two explanations for this:
a. She has a life; I'm in a nutshell world of my own
b. I'm a cool geek who knows his heroes; she has a life

The men in question are the Superman of computer industry - Claude Shannon, Leonard Adleman, Phil Zimmerman...covered in an article on 60yrs of the cryptography. And it's not my fault if all the icons of the computer industry have been men. Ada Lovelace is the only girl I recall, but maybe she's too outdated to even be mentioned anymore.

On hindsight, maybe because there haven't been any sexual competition in the computer industry is why the dorky bunch TURNS OUT TO BE dorky. They can be and act free, on their own will, because they know that the future of their species won't be affected by any observations here (it's like a female harem - where the girls grow vivacious, social, expressive).
Everybody is at equal ease, in a state of Nirvana, only as long as they keep on mashing the keys and thinking in boolean.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Divine Births

There are many Indian women, who, barren from the womb several years into their marriage - even after following the chaste practise of avoiding sexual contact - desire to have a child. They visit these new-age 'doctors' who sit in offices (and also offer you a chair), but their treatments are obviously ineffective (after all, injections don't make a new baby... unless one is being injected parts of a newborn child that will reassmble into a baby inside the womb). So they turn to those whose science has been proven since ages - or India wouldn't have been the most fertile land - the sages. They are better known as Tantriks, because of their affiliation to Lord Shiv, Bob-Marley looks, and a penchant for the the kinda stuff you see on death-porn websites.
These Tantriks are people with record meditation times, resulting in several superpowers and a direct tele-conferencing line to the God. They are the authority on Black Magic, summoning spirits to do things for them. They are also considered dangerous and malevolent, though why an explanation of the same can't find anything beyond their practise of mutilating live hen and puppies is confounding.

Many claim to have been blessed with children after visiting these Tantriks. The skeptics accuse the Tantriks of mind control, seduction, finally leading into the act of undercover procreation. "It's scientifically impossible" is their cry. However, the truth is far from that. The truth is too scientific.

MORE COMING SOON...

Burn My Shadow Away

Only low, strained, congested cries would come from his throat, as he gasped for everything that could help him survive. The flames had consumed him, charring him with every ticking moment, and he was aware of the explosion that would take place at any moment now. In his failing senses, all that he could comprehed were his friends at a distance, running towards him in apprehension. He wished they would rescue him. But at the same time he was also content at the thought of liberation into the unconscious, and of liberation from these flames boring into him from every side - his zest for all life negated in the fraction of a second. The symbols from recent past made him realise that what was happening was for good, for he deserved this...he needed this. He was missing it.

We roll into a few seconds back in time, when he was walking into the kitchen, sullen, with eyes that could break into a stream of tears at any moment. This phenomenon would be interesting, for he was known to be quite gutsy when it came to tough situations and emotional moments.

We roll back another 5 minutes, when he had just woken up into a surreal world, right after a surreal dream. Everything was normal, yet something was amiss. He stared into the large mirror alongside him, as he still lay on the bed. To his confusion, it was his own self staring back at him - but standing erect, returning back a snigger that conveyed both mockery and pity.

And now another couple of minutes back, when he, asleep, found himself living a surreal dream - without realising it then. In that world he was seated on his cot, as he usually would, staring across the marbled floor, as he would usually do, but at a sight that would make him rub his eyes over and over - lush forests of the himalayas and steep valleys. They were summoning him in his vision. This was what he was missing.

I was relieved that I didn't wake up into death. Just those congested cries, and a bemused Rohit staring at me.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Confusion

Cruising in a car, being hit from the right, waking up senseless to a jolt of the train - a jarring romance between the metal. A smorgasbord of imageries leading towards nothing. Confusion.
To think better I'll have to find out the state I'm in, more confusion. Others seem more 'into it' - into the moment - than I am. Either these are hints of a stability, or being careless, or not seeing the true face of things.

Picking up some of the dust from Rabindranath's footsteps, and I'm already in great awe. First was his poem 'Stream of Life', introduced through much of the planet through Matt Harding's video. Continuing on, I now am in the possession of the most gripping of poems I've read, in this short anthology 'Poems from Puravi' lying as a nondescript little booklet next to me. The purity, vividity, and holistic nature of his depictions will linger forever, and then I'll crave to re-read them.
I already do crave. I already am going through the pages again.

City B

Weekend blogger - thats what I never intend to be. But change of events and geographies on my side have pushed me here today, posting something - long, long time after - on this Saturday.

City B slowly unravels, the dynamics are educational and quite redeeming. The social fracas of a different kind, the smiles of a new face, the mud splashes from a new road material, weekenders high on a different street food, rainwater from salty seas nearby; a city of shying sun and dominating clouds.

In the meantime, Velvet Underground's "Perfect Day" (of Trainspotting fame) has become the most endearing song in recent months, and the grinder that 'Mixie Wale Sardarji' at Kingsway Camp fixed for me has become my favorite (and only) kitchen tool, giving me banana shakes day after day.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Longest surnames

ca. 2005, college Library
विचार मंडली: Pande, Pandey, Joseph

Aim: Find a lengthy Indian surname to beat Schwarzenegger (14)
Narayanamurthy (14)
Radhakrishnan(13)
Bhattacharya (12)
Gopalakrishnan (14)
Venkataswamy (12)
Muralidharan (12)

Winner
Rajagopalacharya (16)

Can ye think of anything longer?

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fright, fear, numbness

THE HOUSE. It's in Delhi, and if you're in the abnormal-phenomenon circle, you'd have heard of it and can find out where it is. I managed to research into it quite exhaustively.

They say that if you want the real chill, then visit this house. Legend goes that the owner of this house (I'm missing out on his name here, but lets call him Mr. K) - before it came into being - was having difficulties with his business. He consulted a spiritual advisor, who asked for him to undertake some rituals 'in a permanent structure on a permanent piece of land', land that would be truly his i.e. won't tie him with anxieties of ownership or mortgage.

A quick background: Mr. K's family was a large one. a wife, 3 children - a son, the youngest, and two daughters, the younger of whom to be married soon. Mr. K was respected in social circles. we can't say anything beyond this with certitude.

To fulfil the given objective, Mr. K took great financial and mental exertions. He didn't merely want a house, he wanted it to be all that he was. The purchase of land was the easiest part of the challenge. What plagued Mr. K was seeing the house in exact image of his experiences, being the learned and well-traveled man he was. He had seen it all, and he wanted that to come out in the design and proportions of the house. The latter - tackling proportions - was easy...he had it built as HUGE as he could. As for the design, not much knowledge exists.

In the process - madness - of completion of this project, Mr. K lost his wife. Some say she's dead, but others say she left him for her in-laws; her life just got lost midway the chapters of this house Mr. K was building. Soon after Mr. K moved in with his remaining family, his eldest of daughters also vanished from sighting. The neighbours had barely known them by this time, so no factual explanation exists - besides that of her joining her mother (at her in-laws). In times that followed, occasional quarrels were heard in the house - Mr. K vs his daughter and her boyfriend. It would be a barrage of undecipherable verbal blasts in varying pitches and tones (that would suggest equal participation from both the sexes). Sometime in future, the quarrels stopped, and the younger daughter vanished as well. "Vanished" seems a word appropriate for Stephen King's usage, and not for us, but nothing better explains these incidents of people just not being seen anymore. In course of time, the boy 'vanished' as well. Few people have claimed to have seen him working up the stairs at times, listlessly; though where he emerges from and what his purposes are is a mystery and affects the credibility of these sightings. Nobody's sure whether Mr. K has deserted the place or not, but he's claimed to have been heard at times, shouting at himself.

To spook myself, I visited that house sometime back. I'd gone there alone, right after a day of hard rain, with clouds still looming overhead.
The colony where it's at is a posh one: Clean streets, wide roads, private garages, no overflowing gutters after a heavy downpour, no mongrels hating your presence. The house was located after some mental math with the street addresses leading in and out, though with ease.

The house really is daunting in proportions. HUGE, as described. It reminded me of those multi-storeyed MCD residential compounds - the dimensions of interconnecting structures and the porch seemed so familiar. The entire facade seemed to be built on blue/gray marble with resplendent, flowing, visceral patterns. There was tinted glass used higher up. Every edge had been rounded, so that there was nothing harsh about this structure.

A huge flight of stairs leads up into the verandah. I did not investigate whether there was a garage or a basement built at the ground level, because of which this would've been necessary. As I climed up these stairs, I couldn't help but feel odd. I could listen to my steps. The dull sky outside made it seem awfully empty and gloomy. It was puzzling WHY Mr. K won't have anybody to take care of this house, HOW Mr. K can do without anybody to take care of this HUGE house.

Upon reaching the vast tiled verandah, more of the structure comes into view. It all seems rather like the waiting lounge of a prestigious hotel. Everything is sparkling, speckless, flowing. But there's only marble all around - marble pillars, a marble bench to one side stretching all along, a huge marble doorway at some distance right ahead, narrow marble stairs to the right. My unease intensifies. Just staring at all that marble - cut so, as to keep the wavy pattern intact - makes me dizzy. Besides that, I also feel somebody staring at me from the stairs to my right. Those stairs extend deep before they bend back. I begin to palpitate, the chill starts (the same feeling just revisited me as I'm writing this down sitting in my home, I play some music to detach myself sufficiently). I am trying to call out to somebody, but my throat is glued from this mental aggravation and I find myself crippled in midst of this silence.

That thing in the shadow of the stairs is still watching me. I cannot make out who it is, but I can feel that I'm being observed. Two slender slits in an oblong head on a slender and tall body, slowly shifting. In the meantime that things are pretty still, I try to deduce that it could be the father, Mr. K and get engrossed contemplating an encounter with the shadow.

Suddenly, by an impulse, I'm possessed by fright. It takes time, but as I gain back awareness of my surroundings, I find them changing in their shape. Twisting, distorting; it's as if the house will melt with me at its center. It's the organic pulse to this whole act that numbs me; had it been more mechanical or random, I won't have felt this way. Then, askance, I see the figure in shadows moving towards me. I grow cold from the premonition that it wants to take me in. I dart back, the way I came. In long lunges I descend down that entire stairway, and onto the road, and then right out of the boundaries of that house. I never look back. I keep running, cold and mute.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Overrated Gullu


Gullu Meat Wala isn't difficult to locate; however its location is such that first-timers would find themselves confused: Take the road into Malka Ganj at the Hansraj-Malkaganj crossing, go a hundred yards, there it is!

For a sample of overrated Mughlai food in Delhi, look nowhere beyond Gullu's. Tucked inside Malka Ganj, at a location you won't believe could sustain such a takeaway joint, Gullu Meat Wala (GMW) has been a much-cherished secret among Delhi-ites, some of whom even claim it to be one of the better foodie places. However, the cold truth is that these folks have either been feeding under the influence of alcohol, or peer pressure, both of which numb the senses equally. There's also the need among DU-ites to patronise a nearby joint; and lacking any other option, Gullu's is IT.

What's good about Gullu is that their work environment seems very hygenic and their service seems organised.
What's bad is that they have a limited menu, their food sucks, much of their gravy is sweet, use of oil is to disgusting proportions, no home delivery, unhygenic/unsafe surroundings immediately outside their sparkling tiled verandah, and a narrow time-frame during which they serve.

Darvesh Corner at Ghanta Ghar



UPDATE: This blog post was originally written in June, 2009. Since then, expect a variation in Darvesh's food menu, especially the prices. I would even imagine - correct me if I'm wrong - that the bulls and their bullock carts tied nearby have been relocated, the doggies begging for food have multiplied in number, the unruly parking lot is all the more so, and the burly Jatt preparing Butter Chicken has lost some of his flair.
Not to be mislead, you should follow more recent Google links reviewing this place.

Darvesh Corner is a legend in itself. It's so awesome that it's delivery radius is double to that of any other joint. It's located right next to Amba Cinema, and easily spotted on evenings by the social nexus that it makes for the neighbourhood dogs; there's a bull tied to a tree nearby as well; right next to it is some lawyer's office.

Their tandoor is great. So is the Butter Chicken, prepared by the burly Jat who's always seen playing with supplies of butter holding a large spherical spoon. Rumali Rolls are also good, but for the heavy onion content. Also suggested by the others on the web is their Tawa Chicken, which I personally have no experience of. The prices seem like their moneys worth.
Phone: 98918-95260, 98101-75411
Note: It ain't a restaurant, but a takeaway


 

PS:Going on a different path, I wonder if Darvesh originally stems from the word 'Dervish', which refers to a mendicant monk or a Muslim ascetic.

More interesting moments...

"Single-mindedly pursuing a truth of staggering importance to the world."

'hi. bhai kaise ho?'
'HI'
'what r u singlemindedly pursuing that is of staggering importance to the world?'
'a way out of THE SYSTEM. how're you doing these days?'
'the system... as in?'
...
'What SYSTEM are you referring to?'
'The SYSTEM that you cant think outside of.'
'I feel the same. We are tied to it.'
'And the worst part is, our aspirations are boxed inside it. The best we can think of, the worst we can think of.'
'Yes'
'We live in it, think in it, achieve in it; there's no knowledge of that which exists outside.'
'I too want to live outside it.'
'Yes, but finding a solution while feeding off it is impossible.'

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Delhi morning

These are the kind of scenes one comes across on a gray Delhi morning. The fucked-up truck needs no explaining. The birds here are parrots. There were at least 200 of them all over, decimating the maize crop in the farmlands along Yamuna.

Parrot Gang (by uhbiv)

Can you believe that there roam people on Delhi roads with a streak of utalitarianism?!

First come these folks on scooter, out for catching some morning breeze. They make their mornings worth by helping out the cart and rickshaw pullers on long/steep stretches - by pushing their carts with their left foot, while having their scooters on full throttle; the carts soon acquire great velocities and hurtle down the empty roads. One such person I came across was bent on helping two at a time, time sharing thier pushes.

Then is the tacit agreement between auto-rickshaw drivers and handicaps on wheelchairs. Detailing one such sighting: the auto-rickshaw slows down for a wheelchair-bound-man on the Delhi-Ghaziabad highway, and after the man has a good hold of the machine, they speed away. The handicap finally lets go of the auto-rickshaw when his wheelchair exceeds 60kmph, and then cruises along for as long as the speed holds. Cyclists and motorcyclists, unaware of this mode of acquiring velocity, gawk at the handicap as he overtakes them. The handicap runs out of speed, and looks back for any approaching auto-rickshaws; his face a testament to the taste of speed he's just had. I cycle past him, reciprocating his spirit.

DU campus and cycling routes - map

Few days back I had a newspaper mention (HT) for a map that was used to introduce Delhi University freshmen to the campus, esp the cycling routes in and around. This map was one of the rare things done outside a personal fad.

I. A rough sketch drawn sitting outside the DU Metro Station, entirely by memory
II. Sketch translated into digital image through scanning
III. The scan traced into a fully-fledged colorful vector map



Reminds me, should make it CC as well.
With the average human intelligence going down to the capacity of a tweet, its time I follow suit. As it is, my blogging has been thinning out in quantity (blogging has never been about quality, idiot). On retrospection, the inclination seems done with; neither have blogged in the most exciting, nor in the most dull of recent times. Or maybe I'm contributing to a fictional online movement that encourages to reduce our byte usage on servers.

My communication radius has grown smaller - despite the contacts with time. Now I'm mature enough to analyse myself and declare my urban dwelling a cramped exercise. THE CITY HOLDS LITTLE. Even the mango season is over. I'm not the only one bugged out; everybody who isn't with a girlfriend or wallowing in their own ego is. Maybe I'll plan exit for a while with one of my friends - probably, Chandresh - most likely, Aditi.

Leaving out the optional baggage of humanity, Delhi is nothing more than a marsh with the occasional bubble pop. The most exciting Delhi has been in these summers was yesterday, when it rained for hours, resulting in the first frogs/snails/earthworms/cicadas of the season. The atmosphere they create is sensational. I have no idea how great it is on the other side of human nature, one that hates mud and croaking frogs, and lives for clubbing and phrases like 'smack that'; nobody that I know of is like that.

ongoing: Quizzing and cursing myself for the 'unintentional' roles I've played.
heute: prufung kaput

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Catdog

Stuff a dry cloth into your mouth, hold it there - not pressing too hard, and feel that urge to throw up. There is no conditioning that can help get over this core instinct. It might be an indicator that what inches towards our food pipe isn't fit for swallowing. Or it might be a misfire of an impulse that was triggered when our ancestors would attempt having unskinned meat - dead things with hair still intact.

Talking about 'dead things with hair still intact', as I was returning back home with Bipasa, there was a dog walking ahead, holding a pup by its neck, or so I thought...it turned out to be a dead, mangled cat. It was the same cat that used to rummage through my neighbour's garbage every morning. The dog paraded it through the residential area - surprisingly without coming into anybody's observation, and finally entered the garden. I followed sometime later. Looking about the trees and bushes at dusk for the dog, expectedly tearing away the dead cat, brought about an alien sensation - like I was stalking a larger animal feeding on its prey in the forests. It was both a nervous and nostalgic moment at the same time. But I soon found that the dog had dumped the cat under one of the bushes along the walls of the garden.

Upon mentioning the death of the cat (with the gory details) to my neighbour, who was never bothered with the cat's activities, and asking him if that was unsettling for him in any way, he replied that it was 'good news' to him.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

No respited

The night sky bears a rosy tint, one that is painted about by the clouds that promise rain. This isn't right...there is nothing rosy to speak about them - the weather has been harsh, the crops have shriveled, and the country is pressing my friend to press the govt to declare a drought. I have a friend who now refers to air-conditioned environs as "my land", everything else is "out there".

Delhi has stayed under clouds for the past couple of days; but we only had a brief spell of rain the previous morning - a morning on which I was woken up to the sight of a pigeon directly above me; it had found its way in, and was doing the balancing act on my delicate clothesline; the idiot panicked and took some time to find the exit that lay straight ahead. My second interaction for the day was with my bicycle downstairs, that I rode across the length and breadth of the campus, further on into the greens of Delhi Ridge. The next hour was spent along the serpentine lake (aka the death lake) on the bicycle watching monkey, peacock, mongoose, and snail families equally relishing the cool morning, and bumping into humans on blind turns. The snails made for a tough obstacle course along the route, but to my credit, I didn't crush any.

No respite, the overwhelming heat brings out overwhelming memories.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Nightly ghoom (in desperation)

Just returned (close to midnight) fatigued and disappointed after - there's no better way to put this - a failed outing aimed at sighting a tiger/leopard.
Where?...to a nearby ravine (छिनकुआँ, in Gethia itself) that is presently popular for its feline inhabitants that show up now and then, though doing no harm. Last such sighting was just yesterday evening (as the village folks claim). I thought to give it a try late tonight.
We - me and baby brother - set away by 2245, with nothing but a torch at hands. We were there by 2300. The ravine isn't too wide, but in length it extends across the entire mountain, either side of the road. With neither of us having experience about the cattle track that led into it, I found it better if we just sat on one side of the road and wait in anticipation of something. The ravine forces the road to bend inwards sharply, cutting it out of sight from much of the village. There are no houses here, so we were to peace, and dark.

My intention was to listen for the jungle noises - sound gives more information than a single focused beam of light on such occasions. With time and increasing focus, the sounds came by our ears louder and more sustained: sweet serenade of an owl whistling away far atop the mountain, shrill cries of crickets and cicadas from all directions that soon merged with the ambient noise, occasional rustle of the smaller animals or insects, trucks moving up the ribbon-like hill roads. That formed much of the rush. There was a moment of scuffle as something moved in the bushes below, but that turned out only a civet (which, too, only Shiv could manage to locate). We walked back, me feeling like being inside a planetarium - darkness all around with a dazzling nightsky overhead.

The British colonists in 1900s would've called such an outing in search of wildlife as a 'ghoom' (coming from Hindi word घूमना/ghoomna that means roaming about). But theirs were different: they pushed deeper into the forests; they mostly did so during the daytime, or if during the nights then it'd be atop a tree (मचान); either had a support crew at their heels or would come well prepared.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Protocol for handling fledglings - II

Me and baby brother walking along one of the lakes that make up Sattal, and coming across this kingfisher hatcling / fledgeling. It was helpless, scared, noisy, and we couldn't help but imagine the fate of this bird by the evening - making for nutrition to a fox or a raven. It tried, but gave up resisting our presence, and we stood within a couple of feet, observing it; or maybe it just didn't have instinct to sense our presence once we ceased any movement. By initial instinct, I though that having it at a higher point would help and proceeded to cover it with my shirt, but in the process of picking it up, a second instinct made it seem pointless, for it'd fall down again, maybe hurting itself even worse. We left it there, just helping it to one side of that 3-foot wide track.

Seriously need to know the protocol for handling fledglings fallen down their nest, vulnerable and visible to everything out there, with no mother or nest in nearby proximity. There should be an instructable for this!
Rather than airing those almost-farcical measures to take during earthquakes (like ducking under a nearby table is a highly evolved understanding), they should've put their heads into this.

UPDATE: There's plenty of help available. But it basically confirms that one is helpless in a situation that I detailed above.
  • http://www.messingerwoods.org/babybirds.htm
  • http://www.allaboutbirds.org/faq#q-my-son-brought-1
  • http://www.valleywildlifecare.org/HELP__I_found_a_baby_bird_.html

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Far flung thoughts

Here's predicting the future: within an year from now, I should be in Poland, on invitation from Deepak & Ania for their wedding. The wedding, as of now, would also be a long-awaited reunion amongst us friends - on the condition that all of them actually show up.

There will be nothing much in my itinerary other than lounging in Poland, cycling in the Tatras, eating from Soviet-era restaurants, having dark chocolate, confirming if Polish girls actually fall for guys with no other qualification but fluency in English (as Deepak saidpromised), and trying to pick up a conversation with criminals on the loose. Cutting across Europe would be a bother, considering that the only friend who can take me around would be busy with his wedding, and that what another friend recently spent in doing so will have me selling my kidneys before leaving India.

Perhaps I might also:
- Visit Germany to buy a teapot
- Visit England to meet Jeremy Clarkson

Can already smell the Polish air...mmmm
Maybe a if-you-are-working-then-sponsor-me charity campaign would help take the very first step: getting the tickets.

Hello, I just called to say...

- What's love got to do with it
- Foot loose
- I just called to say
- Time after Time
- Running with the night
- Hello

- Purple Rain
- Let's Go Crazy
- Girls just want to have fun
- Don't rush the good things
- Captain Coke
- Dancing in the dark

These tracks don't fall into any sets, but for one - the nominations for Grammy in 1985, my year of birth. Leaving 3 of these aside, I didn't fall for the rest. Maybe such banal releases account for the banal childhood...coincidence?
We should invent some fictional science of 'song-strology' much like astrology or palmistry, and have our childhoods explained by the configuration of songs released in our year of birth.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Sangla now online

A Sweet Dawn, Sangla
Wrapped up with Sangla gallery as well during the day/night.
This trip was conceived in 1/2 minute flat, mainly because of finding all seats booked on the buses to Rishikesh on that particular day [when we had to take off], and went mighty well by that consideration. Me, Deepak T, Ania S were the team for this one.
These were 4 days spent thinking a lot of things, meeting nice people, and having odd nightly concoctions. First trip that had hygiene considerations attached, ugh. But had it not been for that spacious bathroom, and that hot water, and that roll of toilet paper, and that pack of kleenex, and that antibacterial spray....

Here's the trek listing.
Here's my image gallery (a consolidated one).

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dodi Tal now online



The grand Dodital Trek image gallery is now online! This 4-day trip turned out worth a thousand anecdotes.

Here's some archival fodder detailing the awesome night that we trekked without rest, starting from Dodital, right uptil Gangori; a distance of 34km (and 47km for me for the entire day)
The atmosphere is quiet and thick with shadows. The silence has intensified the void. Dark mountains bulk all around us, and if not for our dim torch lights, we couldn't be certain if we were trudging ahead on our own discretion or had the darkness taken us in for prisoners.
These extremities of Uttarkashi - the roads that form its nerves - are like a bad mutation. They get no blood, for there are no settlements along them for many kilometers; many kilometers of stretches that you thought were populated, lie barren in the night. Me and Saurabh seem to have internalised this emptiness - walking on sans any emotion, not even fear.


Here's the trek listing
Here's my image gallery

Smart Truckers get a Challan

Truck drivers have a genius method of avoiding legal hassles: get a challan (fine, or a ticket). Here's the equation:
The worst part about breaking a rule is that you get a challan, and the best part about having a challan is that you can't be issued one twice; so a challan is akin to the cloak of invincibility.
Because challans are valid throughout a state (which makes you invincible over a large region), and because the fine is a fraction at the state borders than those inside cities, having a challan issued right upon entering a state is an awesome strategy. Now the truck can carry load beyond their allowed capacity, break traffic rules, tread on one-way roads, yet no harm can come upon them. The truckers generally put theirs up on their windshields, so that the police needn't bother them even for a confirmation of it.

The truckers thank Kiran Bedi for initiating this proposal. It's a matter of celebration for them because it frees them from the torments of the police, and reduces their chances of arrest (which, earlier, led to many truckers ending up languishing in the jail as there's usually nobody to bail them). I can see people angry over this fact, but I'd personally have a trucker being a traffic irritant than see hordes of them facing false arrests and having their vehicles impounded. As far as the question of reckless driving (when in possession of a challan) goes, I've seen them careful about others' lives; they ain't a terror.

[Thanks to Deepak for the trail, and a trucker regularly doing Haldwani-Almora stretch for the enlightenment]

Stereotyping terror (like thats any news)

My facial hair configuration these days more closely matches that of the average crowd in Muslim-dominated area around Jama Masjid. Yes, its that cool. I hadn't yet faced any issues this far, besides the odd banter from friends and relatives alike about being a Muslim - I can guess how they got to it. But seeing the same retard inference mechanism work with the police of our state is what makes me feel dismal.

'twas just yesterday when I decided to leave for Gethia. Having only an hour at hand, things happen in great haste. Soon I am at the station, fatigue apparent, disheveled look. As I enter, this policeman at the gates eyes me, and instructs me not to proceed any further without a luggage check. He starts off on a rude note, quizzing me about my background, while rummaging through my items much like an irresponsible child, recklessly (and needlessly) scattering them about on his table.
Where I thought I'd got myself into a bit of trouble was when I replied to being a student, continuation to my old tradition that doesn't seem to peel away. Upon asking for a student ID proof, I realised that I couldn't produce any, and felt a tinge of nervousness. However I continued with handing over my driver's license which, too, wasn't in a very good shape. But what happened in its follow-up is what was shocking: he eyes the license, reads my name, and immediately loses his interest in my profile, asking me to wrap up my items and not bother showing the larger rucksack.

Perplexed, what I could imagine was that I qualified at being a non-muslim, which made things easy.
Had I been in a situation where Hindus, instead of Muslims, were being (wrongly) targeted for terror, I think I'd have botched it up pretty bad and landed in jail. And never would've had the change to blog this :|

Friday, June 05, 2009

Civil Services inductees await the Autum of Love

For those elite few selected into India's Civil Services (UPSC), their 4-month mandatory training a.k.a. "foundation course" begins last week of August, at the IAS training academy in Mussoorie. Many of the recruits enter the premises unaware of _a_ fact, and the associated stratagem; but by the time they're out, its a serious consideration. Love takes over.

It's a fact that nobody gets a posting into the state which they hail from (eg an Orrisan would never get the Orrissa Cadre). But because of the deep-rooted desire to work from the place they'd called 'home' - just like we all do - there's a need to explore loopholes. And yes, they do exist. One, in particular, is a well-known secret - Cadre Based Marriages.

One of the only two ways one can get into their own state cadre is if their spouse already is a part of it. The other is if when the officer gets married to another officer - regardless of cadre - and appeals to either's state govt. to induct them into the cadre.

The first option has the least complications (in formal sense), but is based on statistics and close monitoring of future events. It's like fixing. Undertaking a project of this sort requires 3 stages:
I. Building good relations with a great percentage of your colleagues of the opposite sex,
II. impatiently waiting for the final results - who gets which cadre
III. immediately fixing up with somebody who's going to be in your home state


The second option is more convenient, but distressing in the long run because of all the amount of paperwork and informal pleas to politicians and bureaucrats involved. But this option also allows pursuit of the opposite gender of the same caste/religion - which some old-world folks find morally/idealistically correct. However, it might allow true love to proliferate. Requires a single stage:
I. Finding an appropriate mate during your months of training and marrying her ASAP

Is this rightfully right, or ridiculously right, or woefully wrong?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Pashto Speak

Alien life-forms trying to communicate with us. But before that, we'll digress to some awesome lemonade that deserves a mention... Modinagar Special Shikanji (Lemonade) is quite special; so special that its gone viral - just like those Peruvian flute bands in South Park. First is their awesome choice of spices, and then there's the huge 5-ft high, 3-ft wide tumbler that holds crushed ice, and also acts the essential central structure to their whole setup. Just mix up everything, and there you have it; beats every neighborhood banta-wallah.

So while at one of these lemonade vendors, a tall, lanky, old, disheveled, goofy-looking, taliban clergy-like guy was trying to enquire something. His tone was too low to decode, which was irritating; but from the reactions of the vendor, one could make out that he was undecipherable - and irritating - either way. Being our conditioned social response, I engaged in their frivolous communication by doing hearty gestures, which made me seem accessible. Endearingly, the old man came close and opened with a couple of lines. I didn't get him; it was an alien language, not even Urdu. From his gestures, it seemed he was making fun of the vendor who was making fun of him in the first place. "सिर्फ हिंदी समझ आता है|", I chirped, and he made some sense of it and jovially backed away.

In the meanwhile two boys in their mid-teens also came by for the lemonade. Average built, a lean figure, nattily dressed, but their features were dazzling, and their skin as fair as it gets - can swear that had they been in my school, a majority of the guys would've graduated with an inferiority complex. Their speak was also beyond my understanding, but the vendor understood them. "Afghanis", he later mentioned - like they were nothing new to him. India must be a hot destination with the Pashto folks.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

In reverse progression

Break-In! When was the last you entered your home much like a thief?
Erase! When was the last you rubbed something off - the classic write, scrub, hand sweep, and puff routine?
Splurge! When was the last you spent an evening with a bevy of mocktails and kebabs and roast chicken right uptil midnight in CP?
Rescue! When was the last you arrived at an allegorical scene of the mighty feeding upon the weak, and saved the day?
Cycle! When was the lst you cycled helter-skelter through much of Delhi, in search of someone?
Lazy! When was the last you were as lazy as me?

Protocol for handling fledglings

A small, mango-sized (chausa variety, you might say) fledgling lying helplessly on one side of the road, surrounded by a group of 5 (and more joining) greedy crows, who've just started furiously pecking at its tender body in hopes of easy meat - what to do?

1. Drive the crows away, who then start hovering about you, greedy, cawing
2. Catch hold of the chick who flutters about your feet
2.1 Wrap your palms neatly around it, mind those wings
2.2 Hold more strongly, unless you want it to pop out. Struggle is a sight to behold.
3.1 At home? Adopt it.
3.2 Close to a bird shelter? Go, donate it.
3.3 Standing on Rajpath (or any generic road) with a bird in one hand and balancing a bicycle with the other, while traffic streams by oblivious, and half-amused glances briefly try to decipher you? Um...

Saturday, May 23, 2009

8734. 8735 in 03h15m

Carrier Pigeon WW-II
It's been 8734 days, but I'm (you,too?) yet to become 'evolutionary stable'. Discounting the innocenctmoronic state of childhood and the exciting explorations of adolescence i.e. cricket, magnetism, gems, etc, its still a chunky period in my(our?) life.

Something that forthright synonymies instability is the internet. Every time there's a disconnection, life grinds to a halt. SOP is to flamboyantly curse MTNL (my ISP), then walk randomly around the room, then walk randomly around the house and the balcony, consider picking up some paper books - without committing to the thought, consider the calls of a hungry belly - without committing to the kitchen, and finally of introspection [ahem]. How sad is that!

Seeing the dreadful scene of my disconnections, have asked Deepak (in Poland) to send me a few hundred megs of data through carrier pigeons. Let's see if he's resourceful enough. Sweet tricks of the old world.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Asim (Lahore), over chat
its fine here in lahore
there is military action going on in SWAT
and surrounding areas against terrorists
our forces are advancing and will soon win the war
well its not easy for them [taliban] to spread into whole pakistan
in nwfp they are hiding in mountains
and most part of pakistan is plain
and in plain areas they won't find places to hide


Comforting to know that the Taliban is labelled 'terrorist' in Pakistan, and that they are being hunted down with pride.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Day's Proceedings

Made further progress on Colin Thubron's "Shadow of the Silk Road". The descriptions are as vivid as it gets, and the vocabulary and metaphors are brilliant. I've managed to complete a hundred pages in a month's time; much because of the very serious intention of this person to write and convey. I think I'll spend another two months re-reading it, once I'm done.

Stalking/Chasing foxes in the evening was exhilarating. There were 4 of them; Shiv spotted them playing high above us on the hill beyond Alukhet (en-route Gethia to Nainital). Foxes make sort of nasal noise that sounds like a pup's squeal. Some stealth movement got me to within 15 ft of a young one until it noticed me and scrambled away in panic. Later gave the mamma-fox a long downhill chase, but with blank/un-evil intentions.

The mystery animals of the day-before-previous turned out to be a herd of Barking Deer/Kakar. The same eyes shining in pitch black, the same gait, same relaxed ways. They, apparently, frequent the same forest floor every night, around 2200. Tonight was more intimidating to them, one of them hysterically barking in panic and breaking the code of nocturnal silence.

Dead animals are an unfortunate sight; but animals dying in their candid agony is the real shocker, as was with that mice crushed by a car (a pink red Zen Estilo, to be exact). Eyes wide open, last gasps of breath. Its entire lower frame had been reduced to 2 dimensions under the wheels, yet not a drop of blood had trickled out. There was no other option but to leave it there, wishing that the fox would do justice soon.