Tuesday, December 31, 2013


शायर का शायरी से जो रिश्ता
परवाने का परवानगी से जो वादा
नज़र का नज़ारों से जो वास्ता
कायर का कायरी से जो इरादा
नहीं छोड़ा

Pitstop week is still going much like that. Today was busy of sorts, as was yesterday, but of the simple kind. Simple things have come to define the end of 2013. Simple things, and intimidation.
Hopefully 2014 would leave me lesser occupied, with the kind of time I find time to myself. I could compensate it being lesser creative as 2013. Oh, well.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Coin napkins are cool

One word: compressed napkins
Though that makes for two words of wisdom, the second is also a free giveaway.
Compressed napkins, or coin napkins, or magic napkins, as they're known, are a recent invention. They are made from Nanocellulose, which was researched in the 1970s, with the patents filed in 1980s, and subsequently frees license issued to whoever that asked. Since, Nanocellulose has established a presence in several domains like paper, foods, hygiene, medico, etc. One example is sanitary/incontinence pads. I imagine that even our fresh "wet" tissues use this.

Somebody had the idea to use Nanocellulose for utilitarian theatrics, creating the abovementioned product. It is increasingly becoming a part of the experience of dining in restaurants, a post-meal feature regaling everyone at the table.

My personal interest, though allied, is different in nature. Or should I say allied with nature. They would add to the experience of the outdoors. Imagine concocting water with alcohol or antiseptic or shaving lotion - each permutation highlighting new properties of the solution - and dipping these in. They become your choice of wet tissues. Then, either
- clean your face (water + shaving lotion), or
- have a dry bath (water + shaving lotion + disinfectant), or
- disinfect a path of bruised skin (water + disinfectant) without the alcohol bite of over-the-counter wet tissues, or
- trekker's tissue (water + shaving lotion + sunscreen oil)

They are disposable. Survivalists take note.

Dismal Me v World situations

The world's got my head spinning; though I'd prefer if it was an outcome of a debilitating session with Newtonian mathematics, or a rickety bus ride in the Garhwal Himalayas, or running down the spine of Affarwat in Gulmarg. It spins in confrontation, in defense of and in violence against the same people.
Everything would be dandy, only if I could refrain from showing my human side. With very little ego to claim of, mere showmanship is impossible, and intimacy creeps in. It is a paradoxical expectation to those, who treat me as if i were speaking out from a void.

If there's anything as a timely escape, this is it. In another few hours, I'll leave for higher ground i.e. the Himalayas, my sanctuary for ruminations. As bad a thought that it felt a coupla' hours back, as appropriate it seems right now. It also establishes the point that things are better done when foolish and undoubting, when the space of possibilities or tracks to explore one's logic are limited.

Farnsworth, take me..

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

O Ren - अपराध परिषद की रानी

आपके नेता के रूप में, मैं समय-समय पर आपको प्रोत्साहित करती हूँ,
और हमेशा सम्मानजनक तरीके से, मेरे तर्क को सवाल करने के लिए |
यदि आप किसी योजना से असंतुष्ट हैं,
जो कि, मैंने तय की है,  सबसे बुद्धिमान है
तो मुझे यह बात बतायें ।
लेकिन मुझे आप को समझाने के लिए अनुमति दें
- और मैं आपसे अभी ये वादा करती हूँ  -
कोई विषय कभी अमान्य नहीं होगा.
हाँ सिवाय उस विषय के जो कि अभी चर्चा में था
जो भुगतान आप अदा करेंगे,
मेरी या तो चीनी या अमेरीकी विरासत का नकारात्मक रूप में उल्लेख करके,
है, कि मैं आपके सर एकत्र करूँगी!
ठीक इस चूतिए की तरह
अब अगर तुम  रंडी के पिल्लों के पास कहने के लिए कुछ और है
तो अभी कमबख्त समय है!
मुझे आभास था कि नहीं...

Here's the original

Queen Of The Crime Council

by dialogue from film (Lucy Lui and Julie Dreyfus). From Kill Bill.

As your leader, I encourage you from time to time
And always in respectful manner to question my logic.
If you're unconvinced of a particular plan of action
I've decided, is the wisest, then tell me so.
But allow me to convince you 
- and I promise you right here and now -
No subject will ever be taboo. 
Except of course the subject that was just under discussion.
The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American
Hertiage as a negative, is, I collect your fucking head!
Just like this fucker right here.
Now, if any of you, son of bitches got anything else to say
Now is the fucking time!!!
I didn't think so...

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Waking up right

Stepping out into a 14C dawn in Lucknow. It is actually one of the better (note: warmer) mornings that I'm up at. Usually, I would follow this observation with some indoor activity like panic, /r/gonewild, or sleep, but today it has started out different, since I 'woke' into the morning instead of 'transitioning' into it.
If my enthusiasm doesn't convey a tone of excitement, then let me brazenly state that there is some. There is something about ending chaos that soothes, though I still love chaos, which is the default (and average) state of our universe. I play into the chaos and it becomes paradoxical, which I believe is the Divine Comedy some guy refers to. It has been so long that I have wanted to claim weighted mornings, where the intangible sense of purpose and existential satiety is served with one's breakfast.

Friday, December 20, 2013

The most sincere Mandela eulogy?

Ladies and Gentleman, presenting... 

Nelson "Morgan Freeman" Mandela

Srzly, Professor Farnsworth, take me with you! (ya I'm still living in 2011-peaking memes)

Ngram Readings Pundit

Two good things I ran into i.e. came to know of existence, today.
One of them is Google Ngram, a statistical tool to search through historical (1800 to as recent 'historical' as 2008) referencing of phrases.

A few engaging ones

Everest vs Godwin Austen vs K2 vs Kanchenjunga vs Lhotse vs Makalu


Monday, December 16, 2013

Out on dawns

Being out and about at dawn. It is theraputic.
These coupla pics are from yesterday. Today, in sharp contrast, Delhi has such dense fog that visibility was negligible when I left out; and the friseur claims it has gone worse with the morning, and observation I didn't really look into. I enjoyed the surreal scapes fog draws, and the surroundings - a lush green cover on 3 sides - make the outing worth it.
It was a relief that I didn't ride out on the bike this morning. It would've been risking life, and worst of all there would've been no one to blame. The ride itself would've been cautious, not the ideation hour as usual.

These are dogs playing in the smaller park, which is an anteroom of sorts to the bigger park inside the ramparts. In Urdu we call parks बागीचा, and in Hindi we call 'em उपवन | With the rising cold (or dipping?) the numbers have shrunk - today I could neither see anybody, and only listen to the karate club practising.  Here are the resident dogs playing.

This place reminds me of the movie Rocky II. It is situated atop the ramparts of an old fort, and one needs to run through some bush, and then climb stairs to make it here. The view is breathtaking, and so are the silhouettes against the rising Sun. That is me.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Uncommon morning sights

Leaving out for the ride this morning, I bumped into some news right around the corner. There were fire trucks lined up around the folk art stores. Upon return, I wasted no time to rush out again, with my camera. It was the DCCI - Delhi Crafts and Cottage Industries - showroom that had been gutted. 

Mornings are a good time to be out. All the screwups of the past night lay exposed, the skeletons out, awaiting the janitor to do a cleanup job. In this janitorial role is the police, the fire department, the hospitals, the garbage men, the scrap dealers, and the tow trucks. Being a cyclist, I sometimes get to see these uncommon scenes, too. Today's scene reminded me of a coupla' more that immediately come to mind.

An upturned ice truck (they vend huge ice slabs). The ice slabs had spilled all over the road.
This was on the Noida-Greater Noida Expressway.

Roadkill. A neelgai (blue bull). This was on the GFR.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Peeking over the city skyline

The nature of a city is such, that despite the hours of 'crazy' that set it alive (and apart from smaller towns), there is a ribbon of time connecting a day to the next, when the crazy settle down and the city mulls over what is to come. This ribbon of time, as the one who is on the move will realize, is redolent of our childhoods. Warmly redolent, despite the freezing winter chill.

It had to happen. I got out this morning, a few hours short of counting two weeks that I've been back to my home ground. Despite a capricious nature of schedule (and sleeping habits), which on one hand had me forever pine for an early start, but on the other had me puzzled seldom being up very early, today's act had to wait for this long. I think it was the switch to Foundation that brought this change.

under pressure

i think i'll resort to pressure tactics.
which mean simulating myself
being under some sort of pressure.
like a scared animal
or a cornered beast
because narrowing down the cone of possibilities
means you have a restricted set of those,
and decision making becomes easier.
at this time we start ranking our options,
and even the options would be that after a more meticulous thought -
this is not talking about situations one is familiar,
but not completely familiar to,
unlike somebody pointing a gun at your head,
and more like a slow flooding
of your room with all doors locked.
i fail, unfailingly, each time.

Friday, December 06, 2013

Let's all move to KYZYL

Such news had to come from Portland, popular as the culture destination of the U.S, to even the boy sitting somewhere in Asia. Tuva - bucketlist item #16 - definitely has a growing pull. All was well until the spring of two-thousand-and-twelve and then I learnt about Tuva. It is a 'brilliant' land, rich of geographical, cultural, and aural features.

The aural allure, especially, is what the region is steeped in. Nothing has attracted people to it more than Tuvan Throat Singing, which was what the Shamans - the ethereal medium between the spirit and the living world - would practise to influence, and hence control the populace. Now that the world has found it, it has a spiking reaction of saving it. There was an engrossing documentary Genghis Blues on Paul Pena, a San Fran blind bluesman who learns this enchanting art, and ultimately competes in TYVA to win the first prize (in his respective division).

The region of Tuva itself has a mystical allure. It is a pea wedged two mattresses - of Russia and Mongolia. It is a boiler-plate and a melting-pot for a lot of the culture. Tuva is a state that the Russians 'colonized', not militarily occupied, which is what they usually would do; they adopted a more steady and sensitive approach. It comes off as a land of some very hardy folks who survived through and maintained an organic yet highly efficient and prosperous society right into the 20th century. And they love horses!

Ganges soon after t3h disaster

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

gems has betrayed me

had i known that gems has the strange property of vanishing into thin air overnight, then i wouldn't have sent it out. there's no other plausible reason.

next time i'll have to try and see if gps tracking helps. to keep track of gems, yes. 

Tessaratoma - naam to suna hi hoga

Thanks to Ted, who maintains the "Beetles in the Bush" blog, I could get an ID on the painterly insect, that I came across in the Nepal Himalayas this May. Ted was prompt in his reply, inside a day of my email. Thank you!
Awesome bug – that is a nymph in the family Tessaratomidae, or giant shield bugs. I don’t have much literature on the group, but there are about 350 mostly Old World species. It seems to be in the genus Tessaratoma and could be T. quadrata, which is the only species in the genus listed from Nepal at this site: http://www.heteroptera.fr/tessite/Tessaratoma/index.html. For comparison, here is a photo of a T. quadrata nymph from China: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hibiscustown/9363794127/ - they look pretty similar to me, if not the same.

This bug is from the family of Tessaratomidae under genus of Tessaratoma.
Tesseratomids, like most heteropterans use chemical defenses (allomones),[20] the source of the common name for pentatomoids - 'stink bugs'.[13] When threatened, tessaratomids may squirt a strong jet of caustic liquid up to a distance of 15 to 27 centimetres (5.9 to 11 in).

Phylum : Arthropoda - Arthropods
Class : Insecta - Insects
Order : Hemiptera - True Bugs, Cicadas, Hoppers, Aphids and Allies
Suborder : Heteroptera - True Bugs
Superfamily : Pentatomoidea
Family : Tessaratomidae
Genus : Tessaratoma

[heteroptera.fr] Tessaratoma quadrata Distant, 1902
Distribution: China (Guangxi, Ghizhou, Guangdong, Sichuan, Yunnan), India (Assam, Sikkim), Indo-China, Nepal, Vietnam.

Here's Indian govt's brief on the Tessaratomidae in India
"Indian tessaratomids are represented by 41 species under 14 genera of 2 subfamilies. "

Here's a shield bug spotted in Solapur, Maharashtra, India

That wraps up an interesting recall.

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

linkedin forbes techcrunch

LinkedIn, Forbes, and TechCrunch.. they've been slowly narrowing my intellectual cone. They all are connected. "Moribund" is the only word that comes to mind to describe their content; moribund, as in, "without force or vitality"; sadly, the other meaning moribund "being on the point of death" won't apply - yet.

LinkedIn has been the big corrupting force. Their innocuous newsletter in my mailbox every week introduces some really useless, directionless writing. Each time, without fail, 60% of the promoted content is on the theme of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" - average reportage and premises on common-sense.

The times I find on Forbes are mostly through the newsletter mentioned above. I don't know what the hell Forbes is on, but is it how to imagine how it survives through the cold harsh winters.

The only thing interesting about Forbes has been half their team becoming Quora converts and publishing either derived articles or direct answers. The partnership is well-known. So much, that Forbes now has a special Quora section.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Note making

making sense of health cards

Jeet ka Mantra: PK Mishra

Mr. PK Mishra is both, a hypocrite and clever. Clever hypocrites are never realized in our society, which is made mostly of people who are one of the either, but not both.

He's a hypocrite, because the man advocating the take it easy policy is no junior in the industry. He has a profile that is both big and highly eclectic. Such prolific writing is no easy affair, but he did insinuate the policy. Maybe he's a part of the Russian espionage.

He is clever, because he ran way ahead in the sphere of thought and meshed neural connections. How he did that was by leaving the world in a stupor with some absurd considerations without any advocacy of any sort of policy.
"Agar ladki ko andhere me 
aankh maari to hoga kya"
"Agar azaadi na ho to
swarg milne se hoga kya?"

It worked like a flashbang grenade. This allowed him to eat most of the lunch among the others in his class - fellow lyricists. He worked on a connected contemporary world, and then expressed that through his lyrics, while others were busy writing mere pretty rhyming stuff.

PKM is the man to know. Trust me, it has worked. I could do an ad on telebrands on the pitch of a PKM DVD Set promised to cure "most of social, parental, intimate, and ultimate problems".
It was proven no better way than being heralded the man of the hour by some very vocal princesses. Yes, in my dreamworld. I was hiking through a meadow and was surrounded by these bowls of fruit and wine, and stayed back to find myself amidst this curious cult. They were like the Hobbits in one sense, deeply intent on merry-making. I could only join them, but not escape. So I did, and believe it or not, what won them over was -what else but - a PKM creation.
"mere alaava kisi aurat ko na paas bulaana 
tum na kabhi bhi mother teresa ko chhod ke naam na lena"


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Prettiest 'lil thing I've seen in the wild

UPDATE: Fffffound! Thank you, Ted!

 This dates back to May. I was on my way out of the Makalu-Barun National Park, in Sankhuwasabha district of Nepal. This was the last day of our trekking - the next day was a rollercoaster tractor ride from Num, followed by aerial transportation (i.e. plane) the day following it from Tumlingtar. 

We (the mountaineer gang and I) had loaded up and breakfast, and started from Shedua, anticipating reaching Num by the afternoon. This day of trekking goes through some rich, low-altitude tropical forests (~800-1500m). With the rains being a regular company on this return leg, the moisture-laden forests were teeming with life. Butterflies, birds, and insects were frolicking all around as we trekked. I also came across the largest moth larva ever in my lifetime.

Temperatures swelling during the day necessiated taking frequent water breaks. It was on one such pit-stop, about an hour from Num, that Kru's - who had been walking alongside - eyes noticed this insect making its way across the trail.
She was puzzled. I went bonkers. Regardless of the knowledge of how all surviving insect species have some amazing adaptation, and design, and how it should be a general expectation, I was in glee, like a kid. This was the most beautiful that I'd come across.

Having my bottle as the only empty container, I didn't think twice employing it for storage. A gentle maneuver saw "it" in. The remaining way, I was engrossed in thoughts of  being an entomologist; if nothing, I should polish myself as a Coleopterist.

Luck struck again, when another one was found, almost halfway the distance to Num. No second thoughts in adding him to the collection. The intention wasn't to kill or carry it all the way back, but to merely photograph - my camera was outta battery, so I was, with the beetles in hand, on the trail of Dominique who was literally running on the trail on this last day.

Finally, upon reaching Num, wet from an untimely downpour, I dried myself, and then introduced these to the crowd. Then they were safely set free at the edge of the village.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hey, home

Oh great diety, I am back in Delhi. It has only been a few hours, but it already feels thrilling to project myself over some M months and see how appropriate the decision has been. Not only appropriate, but the timing of it is remarkable, one which had me live through some of the best days in my life, and imagine many more to come. I have, to apply lofty layer on my experience, gained a grander vision, one that i see, as do some others, which i hope will turn into many others in another Y years. The unkempt surroundings and the half-chewed chewies on my desk might be intimidating to this sentiment, but they are mere sensual challenges that aren't a "concern".

Now, upon return, to Albert I could give a sheepish apology. I wouldn't, however, and ask him to wait and see. He doesn't know how the present world works. Neither do I, but at least it's more updated than his. The human condition, though, is still his forte. I don't break it sensibly.

As much as energy as I try to project, though, in reality, there are some hilarious bad planning and regimen that lead to some regrets. Upon recollection, they bring forth a "what the hell" inquiry. "What else" sometimes justifies the reasons of the otherwise, and plugs* the holes. Didn't visit a lotta places and people i'd think I would**. Inverted (or reverse-synchronised) clock cycle - dunno if it is causative or causal. Anything else I'm missing? Everything has been delayed in my timeline, but not everything has been so unappealing or eschewing.

As they say, "the color wheel is a bit wrongly oriented".

* (there has to be a better word than that in, uh, plugging a hole, and conversely, an appropriate word for scooping a hole - and what you get from the not-exactly-residue)
(but did accidentally visit some amazing new others)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

The sound of water says what I think

I cannot recollect the last I was generating meaning from water excitation. It has been a long break from travel. Yes, it has been about 3 weeks now, which is quite long.

Though it's been only 5 days that I got back from the hills, I'd count it out, since the stay was so short and the purpose was so small. While in Gethia, I did nothing but the same stuff that I'd be doing in an urban setup, either side of the morning/evening runs/hikes, and the occasional target practice with the slingshot, or a short photo-walk around the orchards, or light ropework, or short incoherent conversations with me sr. The phablet was my best phriend. For an exception, count the Rubik's Cube, which I can now solve with mastered ease (I've left intuition behind and learned set algorithms).

What I want are bigger travels. Bigger in operational radius, bigger in context, bigger in terms of agents involved, and possibly of longer duration. Large lakes, not small mud ponds.
In the meantime, I continue to wallow in the small. Went out for a run this morning, finally - the focus is on 'morning'.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

platypus awesomeness

Platypuses are awesome, because

  1. it is an incredulous evolutionary abnormality, that was considered a hoax when first reported.  it was thought that somebody had sewn a duck's beak onto the body of a beaver-like animal.
  2. the plural of platypus is platypodes (not platypii)
  3. they are monotremes i.e. lays eggs instead of giving birth. monotremes ~ monos + trema which means single holed, which refers to its cloaca (and cloacal reproduction).
  4. a group of playtypodes is called a puggle
  5. the most famous species of platypus known is the duck-billed platypus. strangely, it is the only species of platypus known as well.
  6. they are also one of the few venomous mammals. the male has an 'ankle spur' on his feet (much like cowboy spur) that is connected to crural glands which produce venom, that works by triggering oedema, that could kill smaller mammals (like dogs) and incapacitate humans.
    some other venomous animals are the European mole, the Eurasian water shrew, and the hedgehog (which exhibits a behavior called self anointing where it smears its spines with poison from a frog's glands, thought it is debatable whether it is for defense or sexual arousal in partners).
  7. their tails work as fat reserves. that is an amazing adaptation. (more amazing, i can imagine, would be if they could mix it with caudal autotomy, which is what lizards do when under threat, making it like a sacrificial gesture to the predator god).
  8. it hunts inside the water, with eyes, nose and ears completely blocked. what it has done to overcome this handicap is unbelievable. it has developed electrolocation. its beak can be imagined as a flat radar scanner, that is lined with rows of electroreceptors. it detects tiny muscle contractions in its prey, providing all its input data in this form, continuously scanning the water for more calculation (feed me data!) through characteristic side-to-side motion of the head.
  9. being a mammal, it feeds its newborn milk. but this milk comes not from teats, but through skin pores that give out milk. this milk collects in grooves on its abdomen, where it's lapped up by the newborn. that is a new solution to a regular mammalian problem.
  10. mammals, ordinarily, have 2 chromosomes. platypus has 10 chromosomes.
  11. no gene has been identified with gender determination in the the platypus.
  12. the platypus features in an indigenous Australian story, where the major animal groups, the land animals, water animals and birds, all competed for the platypus to join their respective groups, but the platypus ultimately decided to not join any of them, feeling that he did not need to be part of a group to be special. story of my life!

(Old) job interview

Well played, day. You gave me some of everything. Play, sleep, buggy heat, pricky chill, a flawless victory, an opponentless (sense of) defeat, a ray of hope, a pout, a drag, new music, new equations, ideas and musings (presently grouped under 'idlings'). Annoyed at the end of the day seeing the inflation in my priority list, which is really just a graph of spikes (that's how i work).

At the end of the day my favorite career could be of a mathematician's - generating mathematical beauty in fusion with visual, aural (and sensory) beauty, or a cosmonaut - working onboard the ISS (in LEO).

Got a call from my potential employers, SE. It was Rajesh calling. From all the loose talk, I suppose he's one of the HR guys. He sounded yuppie, and had the imaginative capacity of an Alpaca. Do they teach them to be that way, or is that something they pick up from all the revulsive romcoms they sit and watch in those free hours in the office? 

He tried taking me on the issues of 
1. Taking a (long) break: he would've been mighty impressed when he opened me with something uncomfortable. Humour me for a minute here - so an individual cannot have the balls to take a break in this present employment environment? what are we, third world? my daily routine is: you eat, you digest, you do fertile things, then eat (and repeat). eat, eat, eat, gives you a heart attack and loose bowels. Extend that metaphor to a life track. But what'd yuppies care about.
There's a big reason why these few months are hard to explain. Because I think I found a lot. I'm not kidding. These are naked realizations, that the sooner they come the better, and unfortunately for some, never. Wanna read my two-volume thesis and the hundred-few blog entries to get a perspective?

2. A 18-month work cycle
Rajesh observed that I had quit both Accenture and Fagbok around the 18-month employment mark. He pulled me on the pattern. I forget his exact words. Well, for one, you cannot derive a pattern from a lone 2 statistics. I told him how I've been eager to get in and whatever for the next 5 minutes. I could've countered his analytical breakthrough by the simple fact that having me leave in 6 months would disrupt that pattern altogether. "make as you wish from that."
There's another word for such kind: rawgabbit. Don't engage until you can stop making assumptions and know the real truth (for real).

3. Highest ideals: 
"I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that," he quipped. Not funny.
"I would say you aren't being imaginative". Not as imaginative as an Alpaca, surely.
I don't get what is the problem with a vision of future that is in proximity to technology, and complex/evolving work structures, and life goals? All i said was that: I wanted to be a strong developer.

He's way in ignorance of what smart people (and few like me) are doing to the world. "I wanted to be a pilot".. well, I wanted to top Valeri Polyakov or Anatoli Soloyev, but there are some things you see realistically, as a projection from where you are and ideally can be.
I should've told him I wanted to be a 'fractillusionist' and 'bring science to the front of performance arts'. Maybe both his laughter and cry would've been a rending experience at that thought; brain explosions and burgundy walls.

To kill the silence i proposed if I could tell him about my college life, which he interpreted as 'could i humour you if you're bored'. I then narrated how I'd been chasing a lotta technology in small ways, and how the Pakistan thing came to work wonders. I don't know how leaps and bounds that helped, but his voice then picked a tinge of fascination.

Later he gave me a hypothetical scenario to work on. My immediate response to that was discussed for the next five minutes, to again arrive at the doors of the same response. By the end of this, he had to hang up, probably getting chewed up by the active effects of a yuppie lifestyle.  I worked up a document showing the best case scenarios to prove my point and mailed him.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Wisdom to job, or not

It is really happening. Wisdom appearing over the horizon. It's a bad thing, but like all bad things that i've tried (and successfully quit after sampling with experience and comparison with thought), I'll be into this as well.

In wisdom, I'm looking forward to working in Bangalore. In wisdom, I know that i can keep OTL happy with that, even though i aspire do a lot more. I just hope Bangalore doesn't stick. YOLO. I'm only gonna be badly misleading a corporation with temporal expectations this once. wisdom of the wrong kind, I know.
Madhu - the HR head - was the voice at the other end today. Yesterday it was Rajesh and the last week it was Akilaa. Madhu has the most affable personality of the people I've spoken to. They were pretty eager to speak with me. Might even want me there by the 23rd. I have short time frames to look forward to.. it is indecent the way things are turning out.

I've been asked to list two references, one - if possible - from Accenture. I didn't hesitate in an affirmative. Pulling back Accenture strings means A. choosing which part of the hierarchy to call B. Tracing them down. brings up cruddy memories. How things were once!
How things are now!

I have been sane enough to keep a list of the people who I'd worked with. These become my 'references'. The first is easy: D. The next is a three-way split among those who supervised me in Accenture. I was reminded how I'd stored their names under their nicks (back in the day) - mama, chacha, and tau, going from immediate supervisor to the manager. (those innocuous insidious talks in the cafeteria under these nicks, only the ones into the cabal knew what we were talking about.)

1600: thinking to bail out! bail out! it's still too early find yourself fried enough to take up a claustrophobic office job, 9 to faiiive. i hope D comes up with a miracle bad recommendation.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

speak up

I find the world a better place now. People are into better stuff. It reflects well on the sidebar of my blog.
Earlier, that column would mostly have a fad-post I did on the SS (schutzstaffel) blades, and something hot and sultry. Now, SS has been displaced by my own weapon. And the sultry stuff has been pushed down by a recollection of a curious ghostly encounter 3 years back.

Love that the new posts are there, too [1,2,3,4]. I don't know who or why reads them, but I just like to see statistical computation making a blog a living organism. I'll be mad if the life comes artificially, from the link networks and seo asshats. Speak up?

Enervate. Childhood.

It is an ideal coincidence. That for the first time i felt like having Horlicks, as is, in the powder form. Both baby brother and me would love that way of ending our kitchen's stock of Horlicks/Complan/Bournvita/Milo in the growing up days. (that, and a powder called GRD, ooh that sweet sand). It not only brings back childhood memories of a small D5 University apartment (flat), with that mesh on the kitchen door, that we'd push through and walk out of with the same ingredients as I do as of this present moment. 

It also brings back something more important: focus.
I am living out of childhood for a while. I could say my childhood continued into my early twenties. That strife, the will to be (without knowing what it was about), the unordinary moments that combined to tune me to a happiness I call my own.

It was the worst Caturday evening, yes, even worse than the usual ones. Among unimportant things in life, I saw the movie Gravity. It was an overwhelming experience. Not the movie, but the ticket price, of 1400 INR. It was the highest affordable cinema experience possible, and I had it today.Why settle for any less, right? Turns out it  actually robs of the moviewatching experience - the gentle slopes ensure that the furniture rudely peripheries the vision cone,and  the the speakers sound soft. It feels too airplane-y (though I'd have better things than watch movies on an airplane). But let me assure you, this enervating experience had no part to play in the forementioned recession into childhood.

Horlicks and Hashish from childhood

It is an ideal coincidence, that for the first time I felt like having Horliks, as is, in the powder form. Both baby bro and me would love that way of ending our kitchen's supplies of Horlicks/Complan/Bournvita/Milo that way in the growing up days. (that, and GRD, ooh that sweet sand). It not only brings back childhood memories of a small d5 apartment  (flat) with those mesh on the kitchen door that we'd push through and walk out of with the same ingredients as I do as of this day, it also brings back something more important: focus.

I am (still) living out a childhood - the longest running illness I think I have developed. I could say my childhood continued into my early twenties. That strife, the will to be (without knowing what it was about), the unordinary moments that combined to tune me to a happiness I call my own and a pursue an entity (whose sketch lines are still in pencil).
[the preceding thought took me back to a lot of things. but i should 'expand' on them later.] that same now seems to come back. i'm fucking laughing again.

And another important addition:
Goodbye, hashish. you're in shiv's custody now. i'm not gonna ask for you for a long while, so start forgetting me. you have been a firecracker in my life - my initiation into so many circles, my crescendo on so many days, and my curling ray of sunlight. we've known each other for a good while now. remember the first time we met*? here's a secret: i'd vomited, since i felt so clumsy around you. since, i learnt to be better around you. you don't make me vomit anymore. we have come close. you know all my secrets, as if you've been running in my system.

it's said that you'll make me feel light, but i look forward to having a lighter head.

* in V's apartment in airoli

PS: the last proclamation didn't consummate, and yours truly was back on the hashwagon in a short while.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

A regular day

Day started early. Spoke with girlfriend for 5 five minutes, at 0630 in the morning. She was up, busy in orientation training for Berry, the new Shep in our house. After those clumsy five minutes, I was pulled back into the bed, like in reverse motion, and put in the same kind of sleep, as back then.

I finally got up by ... don't even remember. It was irregardless on this day. Both Adi and Yogi had spent the night over, and in the early hours of today I was busy vindicating myself of all incrimination - of being a bad-brother and a bad-host. TT is the only memory from that morning, a horrible first game followed with reasonable performance in the others. The way I could spend hours into playing the game, I could shuffle some priority stacks to bring 'indoor court' to the top.

Once the awesome people left, the day's belly was like a drought-stricken cow: Scrunched. I was just busy with the _big book_. I'm into sorts of warming up the engine. Gotta keep it in focus. Of all that I've wound through to get here, I have to make it through all the way. No gates should stand closed in front of me.
What that emotion translated to was hours drifting into and out of sleep trying to become smart again. It is as if the brain knowledge registers are full. I need to flush out some knowledge. I need to flush out all the thoughts and the effectual residue.

Talk about flushing out... the TODO list that I accidentally ended up making, is interesting. Presently it evokes something close to regrets, since it's only growing. Average life of an item is presently ~4 days, into its 5th day of existence. It only shows how much of a doofus I am. The expanding list won't stop, regardless of the fun nostalgia, and failures it brings (if they end up being that). I'm gonna add a t-rex suit into that list.

The fag end of the day was horrible. I returned home enervated. It wasn't the 10k either way I did to reach Yogi's - that was actually the best part of it. It wasn't the movie that we'd gone out for, Gravity (which btw is gripping but slightly flat).

It was that we found ourselves having to pay 1500 bucks for the experience of a movie. Wow. Karma biting back?, or just playing out of probability of converging four such friends to watch a movie, that two don't even find curiosity in the ticket price while the other two don't find curious things funny anymore. It ended up real nice. I'm thinking about myself so much so serious and such funny things happen. hah.
Some genius saum is. he has an eerily clumsy way about him, which berates his profile, and makes me believe he'll do some crazy genius shit but find a lotta things dysfunctional around him. Well, same goes for myself.

I was sure i wasn't attending Sahil's engagement tomorrow. but now i'm slowly recovering, and have confirmed plans for it. Good thing that Sahil's engagement in the evening - or I'd have to defer the tatkal ticket booking to Shiv, for a journey that would get me to Kathgodam to reunite with my parents after two and half months. Only if I could share everything in that space; how things make and break; how happiness and farsight are higher than career at the moment.

One thing doing alright is the amount of tired i usually get at the end of the day. It has been a consistent 5 days. Table tennis, tennis, cycling, jump rope, and running sneakers have been employed this far. Tomorrow morning baby bro and  I will be seen exploring at QRP. The 'no play' days of recent past have been boosted, not only my understanding of life (and love), but also my girth. It is not very efficient to live large.

What it allows me, however, is to redistribute what I've put on, put some muscle on upper body, keep my sherpas (legs) strong, and more blood going. I'm not doing this with a short frame in mind. Thinking of months right now. In those months I could work out paisa and kill the GATE.
Then ready for some awesome long leaps.

Announcing a pre-job Retirement

The sabotage plan is ON

A long 'Skype' with D. If i was starting to get uncertain about the things in process, his pitch completely pulled me to the side of supreme positivity - so much that i'm ready to linger longer sans cash in my pockets. \

On phone with Bangalore, I could see the kind of stability these traditional jobs demand, and the kind of flat endless work that'll come. I'm ready for neither.
There you go. Something that until yesterday (or at least two days back) seemed right, is now what I will be running from. I'm the runaway bride when it comes to jobs. This one i'm actually leaving at the altar, and I'm gonna be proud of it.

These are the kind of disruptive talks that i love, and the no-bullshit wisdom people should dole out. It rends me to see that despite shouting everybody to see me in my image, they project me as them and then try to spoil whatever I have going (which i agree, is little, but it is still distinct with still no cushion hoardings sticking).

Deepak's wisdom goes that for somebody who's made an effort at cleavage should hold longer. In the future, money over these 6 months won't matter much. That's similar to what Shantanu had said, although his premise was that "being a guy he'll (me) take care of myself".
I'll choose a life without regrets. When bonds break, as I plan to do, there's plenty of energy released; that'll set my solar sails in motion. Retirement, I'm back! [fingers crossed]

I'm doing this in a slant way, since announcing a direct pursuit of my mad goals and crazy ideal would be tantamount to patricide/matricide/fratricide. Everybody in my family is pretty nervous about my situation, and the only thing changing their faces to ca. 1990 is my prospects of being gainfully employed by the end of this month. When that doesn't happen, it shouldn't in any way trace back to moi, or i'll be the monkey with the beat-up red face.

Personally, i'm moved by my positivism over the past coupla' days. I have some nasty incriminating/contradictory stuff in my diaries that I could probably compare and laugh at later. If bangalore doesn't work out, i can confidently feel i'll be efficient at knowledge gain over these next months. Though i could even claim it would be regardless of where i'll be, Delhi is where I'll be most comfortable. What's more, i even plan to get a few whiteboards and start hitting the boards more serious than ever.

Along that would come adventure, would/could come a constant occupation, and even that cheesy thing called happiness. I have no high professional expectations, though (which is why i see myself in this situation in the first place). That aptitude against professional environments isn't gonna change anyways, at least until i see myself holding a knowledge subset that'll allow me to dictate my own terms.

For sabotage, we have decided to affect the last process of recruiting, which is employer recommendation. I already can't trace Amrish (suspect he's left Accenture). And in consultation, D - who also poses as a recommender this time - will be forwarding me their communication, where I'll be safely expressing my doubts I have with myself, in Deepak's voice. I've already forwarded my last payslips at Fagbok, which they'll soon find out, is dated to Sept/Oct 2012, contradicting with my statement of being 'employed' till 2013. Let's wish things a good start.

A Man with a Plan

I'm seeing it - the pattern of a restless mind emerge. A fixation on the belief that life isn't a narrowing cone of options and dreams, but restlessness also include, since this life has been often proven wrong. Understanding life is not simple. Maybe a plan..

I'm gonna start with algorithms. then onto analysis. then datastructures. that's the way i'll begin with preparing for GATE. yesterday i calculated, nothing much but that i'll have three months after this one; 3m20d to bring the knowledge back and reclaim the life track i've so cheery about. choosing bangalore is a step in that direction... i believe i could be putting my head into preparation much better in a new environment, around new people - novelty as a stimulation is a good replacement for coffee anyways.

I've shared my focused-head plan to girlfriend - about how I am being lazy about Bangalore, since i will experience this city only once before settling out elsewhere. I could choose bangalore for my post-retirement option if the city impresses me enough. But I've also assured her to be in Mumbai by next year, in about 8 months. I should've checked my words - made it between 6 to 18 months. I can imagine being speared when it comes to knifing the umbilical yet again. that reminds me that I haven't seen myself in a perspective of a quest to live outside any embryos; tag: must-revisit.

Have assured girlfriend that i'll be in Bombay soon. Not that i don't wanna be. The insignificant details of the day are making it impossible to make confirmed plans/commitments. Once things are set in stone, I would be able to foresee how lavish I want to keep my (Bang) exit and what expectations i should give to OTL.

Unfinished thoughts: i'll hate myself if i don't leave her ...

Monday, October 07, 2013

Defining features of love

Love is asymmetric.
Love is levorotatory.
Love is Maxwellian.
Love is axiomatic.
Love is tautological.
Love is covalent.
Love is esteric.
Love is anaerobic.
Love is endergonic.
Love is tangential.
Love is homotopic.
Love is opaque.
Love is commutative.
Love is NP-hard.
Love is scalar.
Love is paracompact.

Can't believe I'm blogging this after this

How I can't kill myself

बंदूक चलायी, तो गोली नहीं थी
नाव डुबाई, तो पानी नहीं
करंट लिया, तो बिजली नहीं
चाक़ू चलाया, तो धार नहीं
कुल्हाड़ी चलायी, तो मार नहीं

छलांग लगाई, तो जाली आ गयी
गाली दी, तो दोस्ती निकल गयी
Monoxide किया, तो गाडी बंद पड़ गयी
रस्सी लगाई, तो थोड़ी लम्बी पड़ गयी
ज़हर खाया, तो expiry निकली
Overdose किया, तो नकली निकली

लगता है कोई खफ़ा है हमसे|

This incident led to a deeper sympathy with those who fail even at failing.
"I want to kill myself"
"Please stand by [hangs up]"

Here are Top 10 common methods of suicide. Mine covers them all!
You see where I'm going? ... software bugs creeping into runtime code is the most horrible thing to imagine.

Meeting an eccentric drunk

अपनों ने मुझे ठुकराया
गैरों में क्या दम था
मेरी कश्ती थी वहां डूबी
जहां पानी कम था

Curious characters you meet when backpacking. On longer journeys, you don't tolerate them. On smaller journeys, you enjoy the temporary transport into someone else's eccentric world of eccentric tendencies. The shorter the ride, the more volatility you're up for. This one came across on the last day of my stay in Uttarkashi (Uttarakhand), volunteering for relief work after the floods.

He joined us on our way back to Gyansu, from Bhatwari . His company by the roadside seemed eager to see him away. I picked up a whiff of suspicion right then. In entered this frail, shabby guy, flush at his cheeks, wearing a set of clothes savvier than the average people around, but also dirtier. He got in talking into his cellphone.

Twenty seconds into his conversation on his phone, and the phone startled us by ringing. "There's something funny about this guy," I commented. I said that out loud. English works well for cryptic communication in this region. He then cut from his imaginary conversation, to the real one. Same gibberish, about life and all.

Upon inquiry, none of our fellow back-seater passengers happened to know him. "पिये होगा," वो बोले| They were amused at his demeanor and talk, much like us. We were giggling under our breaths. I was reminded of that weirdo from Lodhi Garden in a vest with a spray-can that I met on one of my photowalks.

"Since that Bill Murray movie ('What About Bob'), I really don't find it scary to be around such strange people," I remarked, in cryptic English. It had been only a week that I saw that movie, so I could imagine a desi Bill Murray of sorts, walking into a human circle trying to avoid all eye contact (as that would make him sick). What if he passed out whenever he looked into a stranger's eyes? The way we had to sit cramped in the taxi, half my being mingled with his. So if he upped his crazy in a violent way in the next moment (who knew), I'd be the first victim. But despite that realization, of all the people around, I was intent on reading this guy, and his antics. "Theater material" is what came in my head. And my smirk didn't hide that these city-dwellers weren't pushed into intimidation or anxiety by things like this.

This guy was worth my expectations. His conversation was twitterific... When he said out that 'Shayari', it was an epic moment in the day. That is when I asked R to turn on the voice recording. All aural 'happenings' of this ride now a memory.

"गरीब के घर में सोने के लिए एक कम्बल मिलेगा, और एक रजाई मिलेगी, और क्या!"

A while into the journey, and he finished his conversation (finally!) to take a look around. We exchanged glances, then his maw opened wide in glee, dirty tobacco-painted red-brown teeth baring, and an anticipation came over his face. He introduced himself to me, shaking hands. He told me about his village (Pilang), that was on the opposite hill "नदी के उस पार". Earlier, our teams has distribute relief in Pilang, so I well knew the geography of his home. He would have to cross a bridge and walk for another 20 minutes (at least). When Pilang came, he got off. His wallet was empty, and he didn't pay for the ride, much to the vexation of the taxi driver.

Parting words:
Him: "अब क्या करें अभी..." [what to do...]
Me: "घर पहुंच जाना" [get home]

Sunday, October 06, 2013

One Mace to Rule Them All

This is what I call a good defense tool. It is a modified mace, the way I felt it should've evolved.
Deep grooves at the apex, a spiked neck, padded handle, brushed aluminium body.
Keep it in the boot of your car, and strike deep fear before you strike deep chaos, when the need comes.
Ideal for intrepids.
The color scheme I've worked out makes it resemble a penis, which I've gotta amend.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

India Physicist Stamps

It's a lesser known fact, but India has honored its celebrated physicists through postage stamps. One could guess the obvious of its contemporary physicists:
H.J. Bhabha
Sir C.V. Raman
Meghnad Saha

Despite having produced a small number of great physicists, Indian currency notes still boast a number of great faces. Around the 70s, Indian postage stamps carried profiles of some of the greatest inventors in world history - Graham Bell, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Marconi, and Roentgen.

Here's some from the neighbors, Pakistan.
Go Marconi!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Thought of thought

My biggest obsession during these days has been my thought. I'm acting a bit narcissistic that ways. I don't think that is the accurate word for my 'ways' that are in a smaller subset of ways we choose. But blah, forget that.

Thought is what the thought should be focused on. I'm generally exceptionally well in lucidity of thought, so pardon my deviation. So, on the thought about my thoughts, I came to a flattering conclusion that i'm colourful. Usually life doesn't come this way. By deduction, then.. That colour is, however, in some different saturation from the people around me, who, together, paint a deeply saturated picture. Its like wandering through the Nilgiris on a bug hunt.

This evening, after gruelling work on the front (bazinga!), and getting my hands bloody (and myself implicit) from preparing venison in the kitchen, I am in rest mode. I have left all thought behind. I will, gentleman, sit and watch pictures of kittens over the internet.

It is hard, though. Breaking neural pathways, are you kidding me! I'm just like everybody else.. hardwired to be one dimensional. If i'm not being me, then i'm just being worse. I'll think over that later.

The random of today

1. Decimated cockroaches today. An entire colony of Germans. The force was on my side.

2. Enjoyed the foreboding clouds over Uttarkashi that appeared near sunset. Thin tufts of great clouds. Things in silhouettes. All were stimulating.

3. Found this frame on the same silhouetted walk. One rarely comes across dashing Pomeranians, as this one. [Friends have asked why I didn't steal it]

4. "Easy": This is a low-cost rural solution to female sanitation needs. Plenty of stock in the relief supplies. Good initiative!

5. Canines make for great friends, or great fellow animals to play with.

6. What's this? 
Turns out these are Japanese heat pads. Shaurya has explained it so many times, that I was got really curious; to finally see a pack of one is a kick. He explains it best: "In Japan, even during winters, girls come out on the streets in short clothes. I was, like, ****, I'm cold inside a jacket, and you're fine without one. Then I got to know that they apply a head pad under their skirt which keeps their legs warm. Each head pad works for a few hours."

7. "Ghodey ki naal!"