It's odd when people find themselves not qualified for an opinion or a suggestion. Generally, they convince themselves of this disqualification on the basis that they themselves couldn't buy completely into the fact, or - worse - from their emperical study of their own nature of going against this thought when the situation demanded of it. And the more personal the opinion is, the more conflicted we feel sharing it.
For example, there's Priya, who recently backed from giving an opinion on one of her best best best friend's taste in choosing guys. She was there, she could see the dysfunctional side of it, she knew the mess her friend was gonna get into, she was concerned about her, yet she won't let her know - all because she feels she's lost her right to, since she sees her friend in her own shoes; similar things to what she'd herself gone through. Two-faced, hypocrite, so fake.
At a level, this seems a shining example of indiaviduality - people owning up to their character, and setting their own check on what they're allowed to share.
But consider the ultimate consequences of this strategem. Would you restrain yourself from giving an opinion on all that you ideally think of, but couldn't do? Would you stop yourself from rethings that you've always been led to believe in, but never found to be true? I believe the neurosis would set in sooner or later.
Like when you stress to those young 'uns on the importance of school grades with the realisation that the cream of the crop didn't fare any better?
Like when you share fitness tips with the realisation about your craving for chocolates and butter chicken?
Like when you support woman empowerment knowing that you and everybody else in it spent their teenage years in endless pornography, reducing the image of a woman to nothing but...?
Like when you educate your children on the virtues of an outstanding life with the knowledge of how average you are?
Like when you scold others against throwing their heads out of the car windows knowing that you yourself feel mighty heavenly about it?
Should introduce a 'friendship contract' to my close ones. There would be a clause demanding concern and the act of keeping in touch. This thought comes from lots of incidents of my old friends being unresponsive, and failing to keep a general tab on each others' lives. Each one to their own shell. Each one to reducing others' lives to a fascinating drama; and feeling bored when the fascination runs out.
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