Monday, January 21, 2013

This was always there

This was always in front of me. This, the new post editor on my blogging platform. It was 2 weeks back that I had it open, to continue with my life updates; live blogging, perhaps, on yet another drab evening I was having being social and blue-eyed. I've been vacillating between the two extremes of "social" and "unsocial" (or "socially-neutral" as I call it) in the meantime, but one thing persistent throughout has been an inability to find words to express all that and a laziness of general sorts (that is generally my biggest sin). It is on the 12th day that I write.
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I don't know where to begin with. 12 days back, I clicked the "New Post" button to start with a rant on estrogen - yes, the hormone, and how it has been spoiling my evenings.
Let me clarify that it has nothing to do with me. The hormone spills out elsewhere, geographically, then finds its conduit through aerial waves transmitted through a mesh of cell towers to finally manifest and be decoded back into the original voice signal on our cellphones. That, in turn, is matched by a spike in testosterone, that manifests itself in another voice signal that is encoded and sent back - words laced in wisdom, sarcasm, annoyance, animistic indicators, and gentle concern all at the same time, all glazed with a film of what we know as "manliness".
If it needs to be more obvious, them I'm talking about our fractured ways of courtship. I wouldn't mind it much, since I do none of it. But it indirectly affects my table tennis, and the pace, mood, and swing of these evenings when I'm with friends, which I can't tolerate.

Sex, it seems, has lost its biological definition, to be replaced by this one: a causality of sustained duplex transmission, INR3000 or more in talk-time, though not always guaranteed. One could get a good prostitute for that much, or probably two bad ones, or a bad one and a 2-month subscription to the internet to troll Reddit and 4chan to satisfy their 'other' needs that they generally seek in a relationship.
Prostitution, however, is banned here, but Reddit isn't - I've said enough. Spacedicks. What?

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I had a great phase of 4 days when I didn't even step outside. I was mainly in a blood enrichment process on the bed, misidentified as sleep. I was also reassessing my vitality indicators, misidentified as fapping. The present situation didn't allow me to delve on the magnetic field dependence of ultrasound attenuation, but I'm halfway happy about that, as it would've taken up considerable time.
In-between, I managed to add to my credit history, towards something that seems promising yet futile; sometimes I wonder how we could unthinkingly spend so much towards our lives and its sterile pursuits, while acting shrewd about supporting some orphan in Timbuktu, or an aquatic species in the Pacific, or the Wikimedia foundation.
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