I have been stuck in a complex decision-making process. Which of the following would make for the ideal pet:
- piglet
- cats
- lamb
- monkey
- kangaroo rat
- arctic hare
- turtle
Now some context:
This afternoon I was quite surprised to learn that even though we have been able to send animals into space, there is no record of an animal on Mt. Everest. Being very much into sneaky-firsts (i.e. things people have already done, but with some detail attached that qualifies at as the first-of-its-kind), it seemed like an invitation into a lengthy daydreaming inferential process. I know Yaks are pretty popular up there, but carrying a yak all the way would be difficult. I wish Yeti were a reality, so that kidnapping and carrying a baby-Yeti would've done. But in lack of these options, there are other animals of lesser altitude to look forward to.
I still maintain that piglets would be the best choice for the first animal 'piggybacking' humans to the Everest - because
- they are not cats,
- they carry loads of fat that should give them a long survival period,
- they will eat anything,
- they can be wrapped and carried conveniently,
- pigs can wear cute shoes,
- they will reinstitute your faith into the cute, even as you gasp for breath and frostbite sets in,
- plus they can be put on the grill when it comes to the worst.
Thankfully, this thought distracted me from obsessing on leading an 'All-virgin Everest Exploration' Expedition (can imagine the tagline: "these nutjobs, even unaware of blowjobs, end up being awesome", or "courageously shying from cracks since puberty"), which had already started to look incredulous in prospect, since, firstly it seemed difficult to gather an equally-unfortunate team (ahem), and secondly, it started to sound paedophile-ish.
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