A long 'Skype' with D. If i was starting to get uncertain about the things in process, his pitch completely pulled me to the side of supreme positivity - so much that i'm ready to linger longer sans cash in my pockets. \
On phone with Bangalore, I could see the kind of stability these traditional jobs demand, and the kind of flat endless work that'll come. I'm ready for neither.
There you go. Something that until yesterday (or at least two days back) seemed right, is now what I will be running from. I'm the runaway bride when it comes to jobs. This one i'm actually leaving at the altar, and I'm gonna be proud of it.
These are the kind of disruptive talks that i love, and the no-bullshit wisdom people should dole out. It rends me to see that despite shouting everybody to see me in my image, they project me as them and then try to spoil whatever I have going (which i agree, is little, but it is still distinct with still no cushion hoardings sticking).
Deepak's wisdom goes that for somebody who's made an effort at cleavage should hold longer. In the future, money over these 6 months won't matter much. That's similar to what Shantanu had said, although his premise was that "being a guy he'll (me) take care of myself".
I'll choose a life without regrets. When bonds break, as I plan to do, there's plenty of energy released; that'll set my solar sails in motion. Retirement, I'm back! [fingers crossed]
I'm doing this in a slant way, since announcing a direct pursuit of my mad goals and crazy ideal would be tantamount to patricide/matricide/fratricide. Everybody in my family is pretty nervous about my situation, and the only thing changing their faces to ca. 1990 is my prospects of being gainfully employed by the end of this month. When that doesn't happen, it shouldn't in any way trace back to moi, or i'll be the monkey with the beat-up red face.
Personally, i'm moved by my positivism over the past coupla' days. I have some nasty incriminating/contradictory stuff in my diaries that I could probably compare and laugh at later. If bangalore doesn't work out, i can confidently feel i'll be efficient at knowledge gain over these next months. Though i could even claim it would be regardless of where i'll be, Delhi is where I'll be most comfortable. What's more, i even plan to get a few whiteboards and start hitting the boards more serious than ever.
Along that would come adventure, would/could come a constant occupation, and even that cheesy thing called happiness. I have no high professional expectations, though (which is why i see myself in this situation in the first place). That aptitude against professional environments isn't gonna change anyways, at least until i see myself holding a knowledge subset that'll allow me to dictate my own terms.
For sabotage, we have decided to affect the last process of recruiting, which is employer recommendation. I already can't trace Amrish (suspect he's left Accenture). And in consultation, D - who also poses as a recommender this time - will be forwarding me their communication, where I'll be safely expressing my doubts I have with myself, in Deepak's voice. I've already forwarded my last payslips at Fagbok, which they'll soon find out, is dated to Sept/Oct 2012, contradicting with my statement of being 'employed' till 2013. Let's wish things a good start.
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