Sunday, January 25, 2009

A Dragged Moment

The gentle winter breeze,
Picking its warmth from the midday sun.
And the young leaves folding out from the stalk,
Dull already after a day of evolution.
The din of men and their trucks cutting through the passerine's songs and the joys of children nearby,
Silencing the cicadas and the whimsical cows on the hill opposite.

All the while the friends bake themselves,
Trying to work their own sense -
The soul and connections and everything like that;
Their own hostilities manifesting in waves of silence
that crash silently against the common shore,
Sweeping up its own inferences;
A pulsating madness to the spectators.

The present proximity and the distant past
- an unsettling premonition -
It drives them insane.
The most malicious moment gets another birth.
The lone strife all over again.

We forget today, oh recurrent impulses.
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Friday, January 16, 2009

The Outside Equation

The ongoing economic fallout would not have any effect on my decision of studying overseas, that I knew. Moreover, another friend was even more hopeful, considering that people equate the quality of education to the job scene it promises; but because the current job scene is fractured, it would only deter those people from applying, hence create lesser competition. He was particularly hopeful of the Indian subcontinent crowd following this rule.

But there will be another obvious development, as my cousin explained: Those already in the market, are very potential applicants; because this same low will convince them to take off a couple of years from their jobs, knowing that nothing significant would happen in the meanwhile - anything better than being caught in stagnation (stag-flation?). And what better time to change fate to those just fired from their jobs, knowing that its easier to push their resume into schools than companies at this time? So now all the market crowd with unfinished postgrad dreams would be in my competition as well. If I was pitting my hopes on a better-than-average-student resume, then these people even beat me there.
It is troubling.
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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Waxing prosaic in Rishikesh

1700
I'm back to the rock and sands that mark my year. 'Back' is potentially misleading, because this is not a relapse, no coming a full circle...just back in the geographical sense. This is Rishikesh where I was in December the past year, thinking over simple things. Then, after a year of wonderful facts, I'm still thinking, but of things that have mutated into a forcibly greater meaning and context. This is nothing holy or spiritual, just questions arising from my affiliations to the society and present era. India has never seemed this confusing before, and my world has never been this confused about me.


1825
There are only 2 places in Rishieksh worth lounging at: the corner seat at the Devraj Cafe and the last seat at ShivaGanga Beach Cafe. Any place else, and you're either too far from R. Ganga and missing the whole reason of being, or in a place where an unexpected number of goras smoking substances make you feel alienated, cramped and looking for an exit. Right now I'm 'missing my reason of being', since I'm a few seats away from that holy seat at Devraj Cafe. But I'm still overlooking the river, though as a part of a montage of the unpleasant drainage pipes, the dumps, dimly-lit shops and the crackpot sadhus - all this lies right next to the great Ganga (Ganges).

50 minutes later
Gabriella did help unwind a bit. I dug her. She's technically a Lithuanian living in Sweden who claims to belong to no particular country and has her history scribed in Lithuania, Sweden, America and India. This is her 3rd visit to India, 1st to Rishikesh and leaves back for Sweden from Delhi on the 14th morning. Here for yoga - and meditation, which she claims is inclusive - she reminds me of the 'sweet little gone gal' of the 60s beat culture - though a bit restrained and deeper. I and her talk about yoga, its practise, application and expanding its definition, her job, her stay here, her travel with this guy (whom she's taking for a fatherly figure but can't really gel with). And then ecology, conservation, mankind being a pest, mankind being a slave of its own condition - things that I get a better hook on. Been just 6 minutes of her leaving, but I already can't draw her in words now - I'm easily distracted in this place. I don't think that my attempts at expressing my little revealations found much audience in her, but I did get a greater share of her chocolate pastry block which was - really was - too big for her. "You are a big man, you can manage this much!" Wooho! I got free chocolate. It was fate; I was meant to consume you. Talk about taking 'brownie points' literally.
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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Self Amusement

After being here for a while, everything dynamic about Lucknow ends. The strained ways of life seem normal after a while, and I can only chuckle at that at the expense of a direct comparison with Delhi. The lazy and disorganised life here has a soprific effect, much like sitting on a rocking chair in the winter sun. The most interesting scenes in recent times have been at the Daliganj railway crossing where 3 lanes converge at one side of the crossing and there's a national highway on the other side. These days its also been graced with the constructive work of the municipality, leaving behind a huge pit of 8x5ft. Because the Lucknow junta has greater faith in the law of the jungle (जंगल कानून), everybody decides on their own discretion when the crossing gates are closed, and chaos is born: rickshawallahs trying to fit their rickshaws through every space left (and their passengers forced to follow on heels, picking up dust and tire-marks), two wheelers stranded on the train tracks because the line of rickshaws has met with its counterpart arriving from the other side of the crossing, cyclists trying to carry their bikes through on shoulders, the stranded pedestrian hopping between all kind of tires and car owners trying to narrow down the empty spaces to reduce the rickshaw assault. So that is the Lucknow I have recently been familiar to. That, and the pesky assault of the beggars, which is another long story. But I'm far from summing Lucknow, never can.

After giving up on finding any more dynamic character in the nearby markets and squares (चौराहा), I'm starting to look back in a closer radius.
Spent quite some time observing a cantankerous bull right outside the house. He had occupied the center of our lane and started grunting loud, because of which any inbound traffic made its way back scared. Later he stormed towards the garbage dump and occupied a central position from where he could eat as well as fend off other cows, calves, dogs and ragpickers - all it required was to swing his head wildly. Then later there was the fruit vendor (with his cart) in the same lane outside, fending off monkey assault from all the sides. The monkeys had closed in when one of the customers bought them some bananas. Then they fought among themselves for whatever they could catch and ran away happy. I also had a jolly time chasing them away and matching their violent glances later.
And normally I'm eating and eating more just for the amusement of being fat again.
I just had on me ears these couple of plastic thingies that once held my handkerchief taut, and they looked like a bad choice for earrings. Right now they grace my canines, and I look rather like a Mudokon than the vampire I expected to be.

rightnow: blog done, and now I can go have another cup of coffee, and continue with Jack Kerouac's "On the Road".
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