Showing posts with label weekday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weekday. Show all posts

Thursday, September 07, 2017

People who push your perspective

Experiences with people (real ones) is bewildering, to say the least. The most recent one left me existentially enervated. That it followed a hearty lunch, leaves me with an additional feeling of guilt - the guilt of gluttony and hedonistic indulgence.

As I returned home from the last official task of the day, I spotted an incoming Rik. The challak (driver) alighted  before a speed bump. By the look in his eyes, I had the impression that he had expectations with me. My impression was proven right when, nearing him, he urged me to climb on, for a drop. Since I was close to home, and moreover since I rarely excuse myself from a brisk walk whenever the chance, I declined his exhortations.

"बस थोड़ा ही जाना है"
"10 रुपये दे देना छोड़ देंगे साहब"

From his tone, he seemed desperate for money. I, having already crossed him, turned, and doled him a 20 rupee note. The gesture made him emotional. He lifted up his shirt to show me a stitched-up body from a recent operation - a long vertical cut extending from the sternum to below the navel, stitched poorly, dusted with some medicine.

To someone raised in an environment of sufficiency, nightmares of stitches opening and organs spilling out (with considerable blood, of course) come to the imagination aplenty. However, this guy seemed above those considerations. To the poor, rest after surgery is not an option. Here was this guy, into an occupation that demanded physical exertion, trying to have a day out working despite his organism's condition.  As a daily wage earner, the only options he had were : to make it worse by not earning, or to make it worse by exerting, of which he chose the latter.

He then started explaining how his daily medicines itself needed 100-150 bucks. Then his voice got thin and wheezy , and he got teary-eyed. It was not an enjoyable moment for I, and I shudder at thinking what kind of moment it were for him. I marched onwards, feeling heartless.

Friday, August 25, 2017

Learning to RUN again

हम तो बस कुदरत के मुरीद
तबियत हरी जब सब हरा-भरा

The monsoonal showers have almost concluded, seeing how this week has been. My greenhorn analysis is that it will rain little over the coming week, and we'll have consecutive rain-free mornings that will enable me to get out to appreciate nature, to consequently improve my cardio and build some fresh muscle. These summers (to conclude with these monsoonal showers) have been a season much spent indoors - the multi-ligament-tear event of March responsible for that.

The guilt got in so hard. Thanks to an excellent company, however, that I'm getting to rub off the guilt fast. I get to love my body again, reinvigorating the cyclic narcissism to a greater specificity (than ever before), and hope to come off with it with a greater intention towards the world-out-there. The good 'ol days of pain and sweat are back. If nothing else, they give me a great distraction to lean on towards the end of August.

Today was a hard morning out. Got back home in sweat; added some more in proximity. The motivator for pain is the upcoming Nainital Half (Marathon). Today was the only day I could endure some pain on the organism that is to be unleashed for the big day, which is only a day away. Yes, ye heard that right - from naught, I committed to running 21k, over the course of 2 days. The 'course' is actually that of a single day, that is just today, since Day 2 will be a rest day, as is advised.

The challenge was taken up last year, and passed. This year, circumstances have led to a situation where I'm at great odds for running a circuit of 21k - especially in the hilly terrain with uphills that could kill, - which I hope to beat and come through with yet another finish. Must transform.

Dr. FG FTW

The day ahead isn't gonna be an easy or simple one. Several and diverse decisions and action-points remain. If not done today, then they'll carry over to tomorrow and be a burden to rest of my existence, much like how I've been carrying a lot of baggage from my past 32 years of living. There seems to be no break in the frustration of and from actions and imaginations. Good that I am least knowledgeable or the situation would've been worse. Yes, it could be worse. Every day is spent realizing that it could be worse.

Regardless of the worse-ness and irrespective of the worth-ness, I bumped into a smooth character from the itihaas (aka the past), who is now no more, but whose words pull some cords with eager soulfulness even in a person living in today's age, 25 years since he was gone. Firaq Gorakhpuri is his name. Ghazal-writing (aka "Hindustani" poetry) is his game. His romanticism is refreshing, underrated.

शाम भी थी धुआँ-धुआँ, हुस्न भी था उदास-उदास।
दिल को कई कहानियां याद सी आ के रह गई॥
बहुत पहले से उन कदमों की आहट जान लेते हैं,
तुझे ऐ ज़िंदगी हम दूर से पहचान लेते है

And here's a new personal favorite, drawing similes to her from nature.
आइन ए नील गूं से फूटी है किरन
आकाश पे अधखिले कंवल का जोबन
यूँ उदी फ़ज़ा में लहलहाती है शफ़क
जिस तरह खिले तेरे तबस्सुम का चमन।

Monday, August 21, 2017

Life and impracticality


This article engendered this post.
"Should school be impractical? - the practical benefits of being impractical"

The article is an overlap of wisdom from multiple sources (of my knowledge) and domains.
Humans suck at predicting the functionality of information. We get stuck in mental models that either assume the status quo or fail to grasp the continuity of the present tense. In other words, we assume the future will be way different than it actually becomes or we fail to recognize just how different it will be. We live within the confines of the adjacent possible and we can’t predict what innovation will look like in upcoming decades as the adjacent possible expands.

Of course, school learning is what's being talked about, but isn't that how we learn in life, too? Isn't this what the concept of George Monbiot's "Rewilding" is all about?

#1: Embrace confusion and complexity
#2: Go outside.. even if it feels impractical
#3: Tinker more
#4: Scracth your itch

Of course, it could only be a self-serving bias under the influence of which I'm totally endorsing this article. Being confounded, doing impractical things, then finding their application much later, is how I've experienced life. Proceed with caution.

Tuesday, May 02, 2017

Here Comes Another One

Happy World Asthma Day. We are all choking on the world. The only new highs our cities claim is pollution levels. Asthma Day reminds us of air pollution. There is nothing, however, to remind us of the noise pollution - no World Tinnitus Day or World Readjusted Hearing Day (our hearing is highly adaptive, unlike our breathing). It gets much worse than we take cognizance of or acknowledge. We have turned our planet into something ugly.

Last night I dreamt of finding myself a job. Being a computer guy, it was natural that I ended up joining a dance troupe. Seems like the TVCs got to/in me; or the ex- effect. Who else but AR Rahman, the composer extraordinaire, to approach for auditions. It only took a few seconds of crappy dance moves - bunny hopping, but with flair - to clinch me the job. I was paid a coupla thousand bucks on my first day, which seems satisfactory, only if it were for real.

The morning started with some understanding on Hyperlapse. It is a cool thing, now that I come to understand it better. A moving camera capturing a shaky image is best when converted to Hyperlapses. I got so many jungle walkthroughs to apply the treatment to. 

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Asking N he low f lue ight ee he creen s ellow

Basking in the glow of blue light, I see the screen as yellow, and wile my time away logging the dull experience. The day is coming close to a close, so the agency strikes in random directions, running against walls like a moth, to settle on something random, like this. Crowing to the demons to send another bone to fetch to lengths of feeling guilty about the distraction and serious over-indulgence that sent the previous distraction to a buried past - who remembers the past, after all. We are each moment of reaching out into the future, not the past. The past is there inside us, and acts in funny ways, while we act in the present to unearth a new future, from the ashes of the past.

The day was spent staring into a screen, the evening staring through a screen, and the night is back with staring into a screen (into text). No sharp instruments for the day, enough was done over the past coupla days, and let the cuts heal. No effects towards nature or photography either, apart from querying while online, that led to more knowledge, that today went nowhere. The day was slow and cramped, as the clouds closed the valleys and fog hugged the slopes and peered into homes, to later turn into a hour of smashing thunder accompanied with heavy showers. It was in the latter phase of the day that I got to stare through the windshield for a coupla hours, on roads and things that populate it - pedestrians, cars, buses, dogs, cattle, dirt mounds, boulders, and micro-roadkill. Things rolled on fine, and the staring through screen phase got over without any offences towards mankind.

The day staring into a screen was mainly about studies. Infinite amount of studies that await, is getting tended to. It is hard to survive on the hope of struggle, but it goes on. As to the content, t'was something divergent from present ambitions of a masters degree, but interesting shit nonetheless. The benefits of viewing the individual in terms of multiple intelligences (MI, as against IQ, which is the dominant "measure" of an individual's capabilities in much of today's world and has been so since the post-WWII era) is now more evident to me.

Reading on "Intrapersonal Intelligence", the following line gave some analytical food for thought.
Injury to lower area of frontal lobes likely to produce irritability or euphoria
I deduce that I suffer from some frontal lobe injury - most likely high altitude to blame, or that head injury that happened once as a teenager in cricket days. I show both the symptoms (though not sure if that is supposed to be the case). But I wish we had an app to do that i.e. study one's brain matter. Quick-fMRI or Quick-CT or Quick-SPECT instrument builtin (or available as modular mobility picks up).

½ intelligences await. Wait for it...

Monday, May 30, 2016

Raving about Mondays

I was born on a Monday. 30 years have passed, since that Monday, without ever wondering - that what was the day our calendars started on. It turns out, that 'twas a Monday, too. [January 1st 1 AD (Gregorian Calendar aka the modern calendar) - a Monday - was January 3rd 1 AD by the Julian Calendar - a Saturday starts the Julian]. Today, that I muse and resolve, is a Monday as well. Doshanbe pride!

Year Zero i.e. what preceded the first day of the first year, is a debatable subject, as both the Julian and the Gregorian Calendar, both enter 1BC when we roll back into the day before Jan 1 of 1AD. A way to consider it will be
1BC - (singularity of the divine birth) - 1AD
instead of
1BC - 0BC - 1AD
Because they incorporate a 0BC, astronomers (like Cassini) have been at odds at their chronology of events.

Funny thing: Gregorian Calendar was adopted in 1582, hence resolving the older ambiguities in a theoretical manner. The theoretical resolution resulted in 10 days being dropped - October 4, 1852 was followed by October 15, 1852.
[useful links: 0,1,2]

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

cinema = behavioral observation

Movies are all about behavioral observation. Gestures and vocalizations in response to environmental pressures, seeking to exercise autonomy through adaptive strategies. We humans have a narcissistic tendency to gloat in, and associate reward to having gained a new understanding behind, those gestures and vocalizations, in different environments. Observation is FUN. Cinema is a proof of that - we swarm to observe other creatures (preferably of our species) expressing themselves through gestures and vocalizations. Films grow old on us, or certain films seem outdated, because we have already observed same/similar humans producing the same response to the same/similar environmental pressures. There are some films which have a veneer of "new", by having people appear and talk different in visually different environments. The formula is out there.

Humans will keep watching humans doing the above, empathizing with them, and grow awareness, opinions, weltanschauung, which induces a "feeling good" feel-tone. When something leaves us in splits or tears or screams, the motto seems "Come in for therapy, come out therapized", and that the movie has served its purpose to induce a strong response - in the real world, a chance to cry, laugh or scream in abandon comes seldom, and we seek upon the combined efforts of the film crew to push us to that.

We watch humans because they can give closure to the expression of a thought. For this same reason, we don't watch animals much, because closures in expression and environmental interaction under influence are impossible to gauge. However, we do know that animals, alike humans, respond to environmental pressures  (or stress factors), and have their personal favorite stress factors. Animals try to put it out there, but we don't get it completely, unless we feel amused, and would like to continue in our observation, in building a framework beyond the human situations. Instead of cinema, sometimes I wish to watch animals channels like Discovery or Animal Planet because of the possibilities it offers on a thought plane, because of incomplete expressions (and not because death is a reminder that things end but nature exists).

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Games at DFCP

Social structures in games
1 team, of 12-15 punjabis, at cricket
1 team, of 8 afghanis, at football
1 small family unit, of 3"desi"s, at cricket
1 team, of 15-20 kids of seemingly-diverse ethnicities, at cricket

a play on the leg side by the punjabis, and their ball would roll to the afghani ground. a mistimed attempt at the goal by the afghanis, and their football would roll to the punjabi ground. a bad swipe to miss the ball by the desis, and their ball would roll to the afghani ground. a square cut by the diversity kids, and their ball would roll to the punjabi or afghani ground. but those busy playing didn't quarrel.

Friday, May 06, 2016

Monday, April 11, 2016

Negative Traits in Self



The diagnosis and prognosis of an epidemic called procrastination. I totally endorse - no entrepreneurial leaps, no creative leaps, no professional normality, and much more. Studies and exg has been on hold since 2008.

Also, here are some phrases defining languor, a word a pal used to describe.
a state of the body or mind caused by exhaustion or disease and characterized by a languid feeling: lassitude
listless indolence; dreaminess
dullness, sluggishness; lack of vigor; stagnation
I totally endorse his opinion, too. Love the word. shithiltaa (stillness, in the sense of सुस्ती) in Hindi comes close.

Sunday, April 03, 2016

Funny promises being made on the road

Last night was a different experience. I visited Gurgaon, the satellite town, and the left hand of Delhi, but that's not it.

My bike ran outta fuel. Luck had it happen very close to where I wanted to end up, or it would've ended as a serious chapter of struggle. But another variety of that luck (or other extreme?) had me crowded between a dozen "ladies of the night" - these ladies, out for their business of prostitution, escorted by their autorickshaw (hereafter "ricks") driver-cum-pimp. There were about 4 or 5 of such Ricks plying back-and-forth between the MG Metro Station and the U-turn (a coupla turns ahead).

It was only when I was solicited in the middle of my personal crisis with the bike (Oh how I have been gifted with miscalculation and how Gurgaon has greeted me to remind of that). I was breaking into a sweat, and was starting to enjoy the march forward looking grumbly, when a pretty lady came riding close, in the Ricks, and broke into banter "aaja main dhakka dekar le chalti hoooon" (let me push). Certainly, in this part of the world, we do work that way; Delhi has several auto-limb-powered vehicles plying in off-peak hours - carts being pushed by a leg sticking out from a bike, rickshaws being pushed  by a leg sticking out from a bike, bikes being pushed by a leg sticking from on a bike, bikes being pushed  by a leg sticking out from a Rick, Ricks being pushed  by a leg sticking out from a Rick.

She was a fat woman - the fattest of the three in the Rick, - wearing something golden, and clearly the most confident of the three as well, with a seeming-penchant to find fat wallets through conversations and do the bidding for the skin. "Could I at least ask her to get me petrol," I asked to myself. (Her banter had gone askew in intention, I later reflected. ) Before I could answer the question, they scooted ahead.

Later I walked into them was when three of their Ricks had crowded shortly ahead of where my bike was parked when I walked across to the ATM and got meself some money. When I resumed, it was with walking into a situation where I was jammed in a conversation among the ladies. They were talking about which guys seem to be hanging around tonight. Apparently, they don't make it easy.
Last I came "across" (went past) them, was with a Rick at a deal. It was the same golden girl sticking her head out doing a crass seductive accent. The protocol goes - come about, go slow, approach glammy girls in glammy autos mobile in a shady manner, confirm and find a good deal, fix a deal, and... I didn't get to see the last part. Some mystery I'd rarely bother to pursue.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

war and lust


Thomas Hobbes of Malmesbury expounds the following
The condition of man... is a condition of war of everyone against everyone.
Curiosity is the lust of the mind.
Just google "hobbes quotes" and more of his viewpoints put in sensational words come up.

I am two of his state of minds. For every line penned, he would be in a unique state altogether. Calling to wage wars in the middle of the lustful pursuits of the mental and jobless realm. My flatmate doesn't help it either - his arrival set an avalanche that buried my day's thoughts under rubble. That rubble I pick and throw here on the blog. Survival skills coming to the test, which is fine with me.

Knolling has occupied much of the day. The things on the bed, the ones strewn on my laptop and pen drives, the ones on the table, the ones in my head, the path of gainfully employed existence - and in that same order of success (or completion).

Also, a conversation set off an avalanche shortly before flatmate showed up, but it was akin to a gold vein shooting up and burying what would be just stones, or flat formless thoughts from the day, to leave me with a lot of nuggets to pick up from around. I have been seeking a career as a gold prospector, so the imagery might be an inspired one, but the result of that conversation was positive and took me on a different chain of thought altogether.

Hanging midway into the week


We are into Wednesday. This organism is still stuck on his Monday plans. What a better way than announce a call to action, for the week to start. What a better way to resign to the futility of toughts.

The first thing I'd imagined about this week the last week was returning to Delhi. That was done! Rest of the imaginations didn't turn into factual realities.

Recollecting yesterday, sleep comes to mind. Recollecting the day before, sleeplessness comes to mind. The purpose for the starting days of the week were swapped, in terms of sleep, and consequentially negated, in terms of purpose.

Recollections run old, and the old days also seem resurgent, but not in terms of any purpose. The prospects of a purpose (and gold) prosper, in the meantime. Still hanging there.

Gold-digger


Just a coupla days back, Vedanta won India's first gold mine auction - that of the Baghmara mine in Chattisgarh. It is estimated to give a total yield of 2700kg. Presently, India consumes about 900-1000 tonnes of gold per annum. It produces 15 tonnes of those, and procures the remaining 885-985 tonnes. Being a gold-crazy nation, and yet locally mining for 1.5% of its total needs, our priorities seem haywire. The infamous bureaucratic red tape has also shown its magic here, by delay of licenses; and corruption also reared its head here, in the way of the recent mining scams coming to light.

Coincidentally, today, I started into looking into a career as a gold prospector. Finding gold in the wild was and is still an adventure. The cool thing is that gold is a siderophile (ie tends to bond with metallic iron) and a chalcogen (occuring in an ore like copper), so it is found commonly, albeit in trace amounts. The funny thing is, that it takes little to bootstrap oneself into finding gold. Knowledge, skill, technology, time, these four ingredients are what make it work. Even with technology missing, and time short, the former two ingredients can go a long way.

PS: Gold has the chemical symbol Au, which is Latin for Aurum, which refers to the yellow of the dawn

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

Social prow

Clothes maketh the man
Naked people have little or no influence on the society.

This adage was running in my head a coupla days back. Then yesterday, irregardless of my anti-sociality, or maybe giving up on sociality, I put on a traditional kurta. Then by the evening I had 3 friends who I haven't met in a while. It turned to be a dense nightover.
I got 2 compliments over the kurta, which is not bad (out of 3 in the best case scenario), and which fulfills the purpose the kurta was made for. This is like walking out with an umbrella in the summers to have it rain. Or is this like flesh attracting scavengers? Or a social consciousness?

What crap to start my Doshanbe with. Next frontier: eusociality.

Coldplay's shallow India of Colors and Chaos


Reminded of this passage from EM Forster's "A Passage to India" after watching Coldplay's latest MV out - Hymn for the Weekend. It is average, shallow like the rest.



This coming from people who brought out Andy Serkis and animation pioneers for their next to last video - Adventure of a Lifetime