Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Jump to Lko now

It was Delhi 5 days back.
Then Nainital (KQ/G).
Lucknow now. Distances remain the same but travel times have increased, thanks to the perpetual blanket of fog that wraps cities by the evening. The hills are doing better in this sense - bright sunshine through the day and cold yet clear nights; it's almost like the nature trying to maintain an equilibrium.
Lucknow is pretty normal today on the New Year's eve. Things don't change much - the same irritating weather, same irritating traffic snarls and the same irritating assholes roaming about orally ejaculating tobacco right next to your feet. Shouldn't expect much anyways. Chowk was an exception; it was alive - the lights, the variety of sweets, the controlled chaos and the evening cackle of the birds. I wonder why my friends didn't choose this for our usual hangout. The food here is amazing, and the variety...just startling. Chowk beats the other markets and those overpriced, snobby malls anyday, it gives that warm feeling.

On a personal level, it was a day well spent meeting and beating up nephews, and more of that still remains. The makhan malai wallah seems to have deserted me, for its been a second day in running that he's been absent; the longing remains. It was fun chasing away the monkeys, monitoring their progress from every direction.

rightnow: nothing. waiting to face an organised assault from my nephews, missing gems, missing dark chocolate, missing the hills again, being called downstairs.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

A slice of Corbett country, now online

Finally put the image gallery to a recent trip to parts of Kumaon that you might never hear about online. If not for procrastination, this would've come earlier.
It should be worth more when I'll add some route descriptions and maps as resources. Hard to give a title to this post, but Jim Corbett can be reasonably assumed a binding factor behind the places (and jungles in general). The most obvious binding factor seems Nainital, duh, or Kumaon.

Jo bhi hai, I hope it expresses those 4 meticulously planned, pulse-racing days nicely.

Wsup nthnmch

What is so fascinating about a person admitting to being idle? What is the need to make him feel worth? What is the need to dig into their lives to 'really' find out what they are upto? Why do we turn into investigators? Why does an idle person attract attention; is it such an aberration? Do the circuits flip when you give back an unusual reply? Do we take the reply as a hint towards malfunction and set to repair it?

If you thought one had to say something really smart or dastardly to get into a conversation, you been wrong. Even a 'Pretty much nothing' seems startling enough to fill people with some sort of anxiety that makes them ask lots of questions unless the statement is contradicted; the longer they've known you, the more insistent they'll be. And this is something at our very core; there's no distinction between those who obsess over our lives - family, friends, teachers, aunti-jees.

Our society is built on factors of cooperation and reciprocity. I guess its unsettling for somebody to find me playing a zero-worth game - it leads to conclusion that either they end up the same, or they involuntarily end up being 'karmic'. So when I claim being redundant, people take measures: they will try to make my living feel worthwhile; or if my state of idleness poses them a threat they'll try uprooting me. Or maybe people do so because they try to establish that their lives are different and rather more dynamic. Or maybe they want to confirm that my definition of 'nothing' doesn't define their everyday lives.

It becomes difficult to realise when somebody is actually admitting to 'nothingness'. There rise fakers, since it has grown into a fad for the great conversational strategy it is. These fakers generally start with similar catch phrases, because:
# it ensures that their image can't be debased further
# so that it would be necessary to have a long conversation with them, and
# they will stage a revelation to hold you in awe of their latent grandeur.

To my kind of 'nothings' this tendency is purposefully asocial. But in the case of fakers, to the contrary, it shows the greatest desire towards being social. One can't really put their desperation to being inseparable from the society in any lighter and terse fashion. It is similar to an expression that a cog in the spring mechanism of a clock would use: without the other components of the clock its function is of little relevance and it is 'nthn mch'; it becomes worth only in a greater context. Similarly, those who make it their tagline are making a plea for greater involvement towards the common body of society. This is almost like asking for a mandatory communist setup.

One has to express a void to have somebody do the filling, the sociable creatures we are. Hello Sartre, Ridley.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

-1 year

O' blog I'm here again; for a while it felt I wasn't worth you.

Things are complex for the moment - to the extent that I'm thinking about things, but there is no single emotion that is apt - so I end up seemingly profound. Perhaps I can backtrack an year in the past if I'm looking for sedation. Reset. This time the previous year was spectacular, both for the things that I was going through and ones that revealed themselves later. It was different air back then. Being consumed by new events which had an immediate cause/effect cycle; being forced to find time between things; shifting bases - Delhi to Rishikesh to Delhi to Lucknow to Delhi to Nainital to Delhi. I hope its not nostalgia, but rather an attempt to scoop an exciting slice from my past life and fit it somewhere in the near future, without the hints towards a yashraj banner production.

I do get back on the road again, the very same locales, but that does nothing to ensure everything else. Or maybe travel would eventually take my mind off all this thought.

rightnow: a cosco ball, boiling water and gems to give me company.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Treachery

I've had this tab on my browser open for the past day, its a ghastly sight. Our rapacious tendencies at full display; we've claimed everything on the planet and spread like pests - and very selfish ways at that. This is a proof of our treachery; for all that we took from nature, we gave back nothing - toxins, at best. I had to write about it before the tab goes into oblivion.

Have a look on the google maps: The partition line is the Pusta Road. This road is a riot between the hours of 8AM to 7PM, when most set out to illogically travel long distances to earn mere subsistence money. To the left are the watershed plains of River Yamuna, some farmland and forests, where live the Nilgai (Blue Bull); to the right: us. Our concrete paradise, is it?
Zoom out, and that patch of virgin land reminds of that timid girl surrounded by filthy, greedy goons - a cliché from the bollywood movies of the 80s.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Reasonably happy over things :

* Delhi's rickshaw-wallahs.
* Prevailing national solidarity.
* Shiela Dixit staying in power.
* Restrained cold/fog.
* Delhi's food - yesterday was an exception.
* Installation art.
* Meeting with friends.
* Finding lost stuff in pockets.
* Lower-end power supplies.
* My room.
* Ego connecting to the id.
* This cup of coffee.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Terrorists terrorise Government terrorise People

The Mumbai siege doesn't make terrorism to me, or anybody around - we still dress the same, walk and talk the same, act and laugh the same. It was more of a feeling of helplessness that crept into the nation, and they tried overcoming it by being scholarly and 'proactive': talking about it as much as they can, throwing facts and making cute inferences, trying to mimic the investigation agencies, taking out candlelight marches, signing shit online petitions that only sound smart, putting it all on Pakistan, etc. Now that they've "made a difference", they can focus on having peanuts, which are hot in this season (remember - Jaipur peanuts are better than the Raipur ones).

And as far as that feeling brought about by terrorism - terror - goes, I was unfamiliar to it until I met with the ways of the government. Not the terrorists, but the state bullied me to feel intimidated and unsafe. On a day at CP in CP
#1: All entrances to Central Park have been blocked except for one. They frisk you, then review each item in your luggage. Large queues at the entrance, great potential for massacre. Way to go. As a side effect, there are lesser crowds, and couples have gone bolder, and scenes of kissing and fondling are the norm inside.
#2: The Z++++ security is pointless when people are jumping over the other gates - huge 3ft high structures that can only keep the cows out - without reservations. The Mujahids would find this very convenient.
#3: Food items banned inside. This kills the joy. But there were some food vendors inside, dressed in normal clothing. Fishy.
#4: Laptop usage is banned inside. This goes beyond all reason; I guess the Indian intelligence supposes that the terrorists would want to sit comfortably on the lush grass inside this park to coordinate a massive attack. Is our intelligence not aware of other technological offerings, mainly that called "mobile phone" and its evolution, the "PDA"? That aside, I was made aware of the fact an hour after I'd been leisurely using my laptop inside.

Somebody ought to challenge their policy, make an RTI.
Just because the terrorists used a laptop to run their command center doesn't mean laptops are evil. Just like you don't ban the jackets or shoes they were wearing.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Another expert analysis over the Mumbai seige

Relaxed Ways of our Ancestors
The entire Indian blogosphere is going nuts over the Mumbai siege. Everybody has emotions, and naturally needs to iterate how sad/bad/mad this is; the nod that passed our attention in the group finds 15 lines of prose here. If I were the president today, I'd filter out every conversation over the incident on the net, and headbutt those doing the same on the streets. I have seen the junta react here in Delhi, and there is ZERO concern, its rather a scholarly exercise. It's almost a leisure activity where one would state a gruesome fact and others' awestruck faces and the agreeing nod would give something to remember about, the 'awakening' of the the people and the 'patriotic' feeling. And it's not just Delhi that has this construed reaction, even the city of Mumbai that mourns has little concern - which is why they were dancing on the streets when it had just been assured over 3 days how impotent their country is, how easy it is to reduce it to anarchy.

Our plight is that there is nothing we can do; my infuriation slowly turns to empathy for the bystander. They can weep, they can panic, they can dance, they can analyse, they can joke, all without reservations - like the newspapers described: it's a "reality show". The whole drama had been so long drawn out that after the initial disgust at our national security, followed by rounds of trauma over those inside, there was no other 'emergency' emotion left, then we tied our banal lives to a public show of sympathy - just like the generic ideal citizen would. Conformity. Right now they are attending the funeral of some of our top cops for the same reason.

At least its been learnt that sympathy is induced by a shocking change of circumstances - shocking, as in, that one second you are sipping soda and the next you are in bits, like that in a blast, not like in a gun chase. I remember seeing a greater sympathy among the people of Delhi when the Mumbai blasts took place; even my neighbour almost seemed touched. I leave out those with the best of friends or blood relatives getting entangled in this incident, they do remain genuine in their emotions and tears.
Sympathy can also be derived by forcing oneself to consider living the moment that others had been through, like when you harmlessly try choking yourself after a friend commits suicide. I bet half the people forced themselves to think being a hostage trapped in a burning building, to finally send me-too-sympathises messages across. "Yes, we understand their situation now. We just initiated our own neurosis by imagining the same." It's quite a leisure when you can do that and have a good sleep after that.
The process of evoking sympathy is almost a fraud; a psychosis.

Now we stand puzzled as to what to do. This is not an earthquake where I can rush with my friends to join some rescue team and save humanity; this is not an isolated bomb blast where I can offer my services at the scene of crime or make donations and save humanity. The only thing I can possibly do is feel a definite hate against those who are responsible for making our national forces what they are today - us. The ATS/IB/NSG delays/goofups were partly because they were lacking training and equipment; and all that comes from the nation's reserves, which itself comes from the taxpayer's money. They are the _only ones_ who can do a thing about this, and they were lacking. Everything that was required over these days had to come from us, and our con game with the government finally got a face now.

ps: perhaps the only concern i could perceive came from a friend calling in early hours of the morning (whom I couldn't comprehend anyways), and another asking me to travel alert and safe.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Overnight

I'm net-happy again. After repeated complaints to and assurances from MTNL folks, yet having nobody show up, I took the law duplex wire in my own hand. And now its fixed - working, rather, since I have no clue what sets it right. It has something to do with just going near the little plastic box they've installed and pretending to tighten its screws even when they are already so; do that and it starts working again. Maybe my modem is some narcissistic living organism. My blood boils when even technology comes under the जुगाङू umbrella - the way how everything in India works.

Will now diverge frm what I was gonna say since the gravity of the Mumbai incident is settling in, its beyond imagination. The last I'd checked on it - when Rohit called up from Mumbai to convey that he was alright, there were 'some unknown blasts' in south of Mumbai which had about 10 confirmed dead. Now there are 87 dead (our Anti Terror Squad chief included), 200 injured and 5 star hotels and hospitals being held hostage. Its been over 7 hours since and as the situation becomes more vivid to viewers like us, it gets even gruesome. New blasts, new blood. The country will have bitter fodder as it wakes up. It's sad.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Scalding Hot

Good start to today. Had a bath with scalding hot water - the (masochistic?) sensation is somewhat like being pierced with needles and gives my sensory nerves something to do after hours of nothingness. This was something diametrically opposite to having bath with freezing cold water at Kedarnath (where I had the distinction of being the only one not squealing - as if being violated - upon pouring the first mug of water). If nothing, hot water gives good blog ideas. Too bad that the human body doesn't expand upon application of heat the way Kerala papads and corn do, or half the world's spam email problem would've gone away.
After bath came a cup of tea, after which a bi-monthly shaving routine followed. The tea just got over. The shave was a long affair which, again, required warm water. Also on display were the greatest standards of दरिद्रता as it has been eons that I last switched razors, mainly because I can't foresee a shave until right when I'd feel like it. As a result of this ignorance, the process that generally takes those Gillette men the length of an ad-film requires sitting through a soap opera in my case. But am quite sure I'll be equipped with a new one in another 6 months time. Positive.

There isn't much to complain, since its an early start, but for the fact that it's 1AM in the morning, and that I'm trailing by about 18 hours. The day that went by saw my great contributions in haggling with Dell over a replacement battery, fixing up the telephone line, tanning one half of myself by sitting at the threshold line of the room sideways, making lumpy chocolate sauce (later combining it into something awesome), tinkering with some javascript code, and - not to forget - sleep accompanied with vague dreams. Delhi isn't cold, but people say so; I'll assume it is since I can generate fog with my breath now.

Had a talk with a friend, to whom the latest "whats up" is being in the fringes of a relationship with a ballerina instructor. The talk then led to the fact that everybody is upto nothing. People are holed up inside their homes with the same eat-watch-sleep routine for months now. In objective ways we all are on the same field, feeling deserted by the companies who filled us with great promises; maybe we can play football that we're there.

ps: a dedication to the cute mongrel standing against my friend's car window, attracted by the smell of meat, oblivious to my presence inside. a dedication to the friend as well, since it was his birthday that we were celebrating then.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Be more discrete

Just when I was having a hunch that everything I see and come across are in a way expression of what is going on inside of me, or at least with me having a role to play, I had to come across a psychological term "Projection" where "...one attributes one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or/and emotions to others". Now I sit with a sullen face, since my 'conscious' now sees my 'subconscious' as being perverted and obsessing about relationships. I knew I had it coming, a moment when the rubber arrows (रबड़ ती्र रूपी सोच) I sent off into space would deflect back and lodge into my nostrils (नासिका छिद्र). I shouldn't have thought too much in the first place.

So now I'll feel guilty for no reason, just like when any of my landlady's questioning makes me feel like I'm hiding nuclear material or running a porn empire from my room...Wait, is that even a valid analogy?

Read the wikipedia article, thats pretty much it. Now I'll live with a realisation that everything and everyone I rant about - even Paris Hilton - or feel is wrong, attribute to my own insecurities.. I blew it.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Accompanied a friend to Nehru Place, _the_ computer hub of Delhi, today, in consideration that he'd been so kind as to remind me that it was his birthday as well as throw me (and others) a treat at Pizza Hut (the pizzas are still mediocre). He's got a good contact in NP with whom he always deals with - and who seems to be in awe of him, and that's where we headed to. To much irritation, him and the shopkeeper guy started discussing marriage. This was after my friend had found a doodle that could duplicate SIM cards (which is illegal), and went mad over the powers it would give him. It was unbelievable - a geek moment followed by a bland, trite human one! Are things right? Did every elder I know get like this at some stage, or just that such repressed-manner girl talk the new fad born from those Arjun Rampal and Ritesh Deshmukh movies?

So they continue talking about how marriage suffocates and how it suddenly throws 'responsibilities' that are difficult to manage. I guess that's why they remain - and should remain - unmarried, since they can't possibly imagine such a contingency and since they treat women like objects to be dragged along 'for the rest of their lives'. Asses. My friend invented an ex-girlfriend right there to add flavour, as well as made clear his inclination towards arranged marriage. The shopkeeper had apparently been to a bachelor's party the previous night, which is why the topic was so 'hot' for him to push into discussion. After much effort I was able to push my friend back into the SIM card doodle madness. But another day collecting evidence of how badly some people want to cuddle up and have babies by this age/stage.

Not really justifying why I continue staying in Delhi. Not for this, surely.

ps: bachelor's party in India basically means having lots of alcohol at a friend's place or a bar (if can be afforded) or somewhere outside with the car parked on a lonely stretch, and alongside freaking out over how things would change soon, when in fact they won't.

rightnow: doing nothing. still irritated over net disconnections, have temporarily resorted to a data card. irritated over having wasted 2 hours of my life watching "Get Smart". bruised my left trying to rip apart one half of a coconut - did succeed. contemplating dinner and music. the water must've turned cold, had planned a bath.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hey boy Hey girl

Much of the times I've been out with friends lately, talks have descended towards girls/relationships. I guess that's a part of the growing up - relationships talks become the new sedation. Earlier it used to be cricket, physics and computers when in school; then football, computers, movies, pornography and travel when in college. It seems everybody just reached a state of nothingness - no college, no books, no expansive (male) friends circuit, no dramatic cricket matches, no fads - and had time to think about this stuff. They must be growing addicted to it, for they like to discuss it scholarly - like a science phenomenon, endless conjectures and corollaries. Earlier we used to wind out dissecting Tendulkar's scoring record, only now its shifted to dissecting girls' behavioral characteristics - things whose understanding might help one score. We have finally come to being boys, if not men, right?

Now our group has people that bring experience to the table - one with a violent break-up, only to see a growing friction lately, one who ended things for no reason and still remains befuddled, one who has come to HATE the loner breed of girls, one who has everything in him but for the acceptance of a single girl (among the several he's approached), one with a much amusing marriage proposal to credit, and one thankful that chocolate exists and can be easily had, unlike a relationship. My basic role here is either providing with purely factual information, or going hysteric over their wild generalisations and countering them - 'breeding rationality' is how I think of it. Its quite fun to break into debates over our models of the female side based from such personal experiences. And its scary to see how people are shaped by malicious generalisations, and distinctions between 'man'/'woman' behavior. I, probably, don't contribute much for the same reason - have got no such delusional models, yet am pulled in coz of a swashbuckling recent history.
I hope some of us would catch hold of their hormones and save them for the actual moment. Will try introducing something even more sedate, maybe job talk or food or ontology? Why don't I know anybody that wants to get into finding out the meaning of life and such?

ps: post title dedicated to "The Chemical Brothers"
rightnow: finished a cup of coffee - first time that bru was palatable, listening to chemical brothers now that I used their song title for my blog post, the net is frequently disconnecting and I'm highly irritated at that, nothing much to look at or think about except for bipasha's circuitry and possibly my debut bribe tomorrow.

Still OK

Well, its been a long time since the last I posted. That post left on a dangerous note, but I'm still alive; the next two days that followed unfolded with perfection, and had its share of moments; both panic and serenity. It was the coolest thank-god-that-ended-alright adventure besides Leh. The amusing part comes when I try to share the experience: those villages - Padampuri, Guniyalekh, Chyurigaad, Kalagarhi, Babiyaar, Bhodia, Tilwadi, Lugar - are on such unknown tracts that nobody can create a mental map, hence they can't figure out a thing, like what kind of lands we were on or what history lies behind these, hence the anecdotes/photos fail to build much interest.

So much for that, I'll still upload the photos on the gallery. Have already created a reference, yet to make the gallery public.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Straight from the Scene of Adventure

Writing this sitting in the village of Guniyalekh, 12000ft up in the air, and 30km away from an equipped civilization. Village scenes bring up a romantic image; but this doesn't fall for any of those adjectives. Here it isn't rustic or idyllic, it is WILD. Right now there are at least two man-eating tigers operating in the Kumaon region, and their territory can range over a large area, especially these - both the villages of Padampuri and Kala Agar/Kalagarhi that lie on either side of us accounted for kills in the times of Jim Corbett. It is after dark that I'm writing this; there are only sleeping forests of pine and oak to give company; the stretch of road down the sight lies empty, except for the odd farmer or two awaiting the arrival of a mini-truck to carry their farm produce to the lower regions of Haldwani. We - me and my baby brother - reached here just a little while ago, trekking up our hill in the pale light of tonight's moon; it was great luck that we managed to reach here after setting out as late as 1700 from Bhowali.

It is darker now. Cold out here but not the kind that freezes your bones. It is a rare moment that the heavenly lights - the stars - outnumber the terrestrial ones; here it is so. A mere 6 household lights on this hill and 8 on the hill facing ours put a dull challenge to the millions of stars above; dim lights of Dhari in far distance are optimistic, yet a detachment. The night sky is as clear as can be and drapes around the landscape like a fabric; only in Lansdowne have I seen better. I just caught my first meteor (that I can vividly recall) - a renegade in the form of a white ball streaking through the blackness at almost my eye level. People immediately follow up with fancy wishes, I followed up with the thought of why anybody would do so upon the annihilation of an object that has traveled millions of miles through the space and holds many secrets for the sciences.

Standing outside on the porch was unsettling. The thought of a carnivore lurking in the vicinity eats your head. It's not the scare for me, it's the anticipation that does it, followed by heroic tales spun in the mind while staring into the blackness. Fact remains that this region has dense forests and there is a certified population of carnivore, but a good number of shikaar (ghoral, kakar, wild fowl etc) to keep them disciplined.

The lightbulb count has further reduced to 4. I'll also take to the bed and await sleep after and exhausting day packed with adventure.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Diwali and Your Panties, 2008-10-28 :: Archival Entry

Diwali brings lots of special images and moments to mind. This one was even more special to me. Besides the eternal image of my cousins engineering how to start the ignition of a 10-shot after they'd accidentally set fire to it in the wrong places, I have the other of a beefy woman in white panties. After you're done making your share of perverted associations, pls continue to the next paragraph.

The image really was eternal, for it had been put onto paper - that of a box of huge rockets. I'd accompanied a friend to his firecracker shopping on the eve of Deepawali, and that's where I came across 'it' - that beefy girl in an illogical heavy white gown that extended only to her waist; I chuckled hard, and brought it to my friend's attention; we mutually pondered over it's relation to a religious festival and ended up only more amused. And then, as if the clouds parted, the visions became very clear - there were hordes of these sultry babes hugging large cylinder-shaped objects everywhere, and joining them was an international array of movie stars: there was a 7-star with Kareena Kapoor alongside John Cena, another one with Priyanka Chopra alongside the entire cast of X-Men (whatever that suggests), Ayesha Takia on a rocket carton and the characters of "The Matrix" - the twins and trinity - on a large box of something very explosive, and one with some character of Final Fantasy holding a sword, from which a mist emerged that gave rise to the smiling face of Kareena Kapoor.

While my friend was busy bargaining for a measly amount of firecrackers ("I only need some for shagun"), I obsessed myself with the evident country-wide obsession of juice - so much that I'm starting with a new paragraph. Plump south Indian actresses seem to gaining grounds when it comes to selling explosives. Yes, sex sells even in this domain. Gone are the days of happy children on the cover, today has to do with the 'mamathas' of our cheesy film industry down under. Besides the panties girl, there was another in red underthings, and another one with short skirt and lots of popping cleavage gawking at a "Cock" brand rocket. Besides these girls that suggest romp, there was a breed of those homely and prim girls as well - dressed up all traditional, looking tamely yet inviting. Much of this firecracker industry is based in the south, and going by this, there's a whole bunch of perverted designers sitting there trying to market everything with titillating imagery. They also assume that the Indian women will stay indoors and only the men would have anything to do with these boxes of crackers - which is why they stick with hot semi-nekked ladies. In a progressive nation where even the women are gaining the right to step out into the public, the right to light a fuse, and starting to like other women, and men liking other men, and children growing even more horny at even younger ages, they would need to re-strategise soon.

We are bringing softcore indian porn to our doors instead of Goddess Laxmi these days. Truly, Kalyug approacheth.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Too Good to Beat

These deals en-route Lucknow by bus, just the day before...
  • Comb Set of 10, consisting of combs of all shapes and sizes, even those lice-plucking ones. Rs. 10
  • Childrens' learning book that covers almost every subject for a toddler, laminated throughout (no accidental wear and tear!). Rs. 10
  • A set of 3 magazines, including one featuring desi erotic tales (politely titled "Manohar Kahaniyaan") Rs. 10
  • Toothbrush - a set of 3. Rs. 10
  • Handkerchiefs, of size that can literally serve a cushion when folded. Rs. 10
  • A set of 2 gold-plated chains and 2 gold-plated rings (one for each of the sex). Rs. 10
  • 10 ripe Bananas for Rs. 10
  • Watches - Quoted price of Rs. 300 going for Rs. 80 on a good bargain
Such controlled prices almost make it feel like the Soviet Era!
These people obviously have something going right. Also hints at mass margins in apparel. Might also hint at oppression and at the labour being paid peanuts.

Lucknow by Bus

Never travel to Lucknow by bus. The previous statement can be counted a maxim, for what is an overnight journey by train turned out an 18hr neck-straining bummer for me by the bus. 18 hours is time in which I could've set out from Lucknow to Delhi by the Mail and back by Shatabdi, still with another couple of hours which I'd have devoted to visiting the Lucknow Zoo and having kababs. Theoretically it should've been no more than 14 hours, but the tire blowing up midway and another couple of hours spent at the railway crossing delayed things. There are rare times when a journey becomes a drag and this was one of them; even the epic 3-day Leh-Delhi rickety bus ride the previous year was better. UP roads are inferior to any other state I've been to, and there's a severe scarcity of road sense.
I was traveling by the bus because I proved too slow to fetch a train reservation - even the Tatkals were filled up within 15 minutes of their availability, Diwali being the sole reason. There were others with similar tales to recall - who'd have traveled by the AC coach on a train if not for the unavailability; their collective presence upped the general standard of the bus crowd. (I hope there were other bloggers amongst them as well, we all curse our road transport in unison that way.)
Learnt that truckers' halts are the best place to have tea, and had a live example of scare mongering; not much else to tell about...oh and that Michaelganj/Maikalganj reaffirms its position as the best food halt along the route.

This is one case where 'The end justify the means' falls flat in its logical validity. The next time I'm traveling to Lucknow on a bus is either when they make a super-express highway where the most rickety of buses can manage a steady 100kmph, or when I'm required to be follow some KGB agent out on an espionage mission.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Oh, another day and tangible experiences

Some days are surprisingly hectic. I guess today was one among them. Bum-breaker, if that means anything. Cycling, walking, cycling, walking - Delhi is too big when you're a man on a mission (with conservative attitude towards transport). There were only two chunks of spare time: the morning - which was spent gearing up for the day - and the briefest of pit stops around 1630, when I returned back only to refuel for the evening that lay ahead. Things didn't change the world order, were quite mundane, almost everything to do with me own social circles.

The day started off with me almost suffering cerebral damage; a high-velocity projectile missed my head by a margin: as it was, I was in the process of making myself a cup of cappuccino, and while the milk was on the stove I had the urge to crane my neck out of the balcony and smell the rewarding morning air. The balcony is like every other in this neighbourhood - a grilled defense, for the fear of theft; mine has a window of about 5x4 ft. And my head is a bounding box of about 1.2x1 sq ft. No sooner had I approached the balcony, in the process of a deep breath, that something whizzed past my left ear, hit the balcony grill with a twang and deflect back outside. After the momentary stun, I looked down to find the newspaper boy in his second attempt to deliver the papers through the little opening in my balcony. I was lucky that his initial strike missed today.

Received a call from an anonymous number in the morning. The voice on the other side seemed to affirm our familiarity, so I went along with the conversation. It ended with us deciding to meet up in the evening; I had no idea of who it was; "some friend" was what I added him as on my cellphone. I was severely receptive to the fact that it could be anybody and yet be received with no greater or lower enthusiasm. Anonymity is a great equaliser. "some friend" called again later to confirm his arrival at the Metro Station. Last efforts to remember that voice failed. I approached with guilt hanging over my head - what if I don't recognize him? It was a pleasant surprise to find Aditya waiting...a good year and a quarter after which we were seeing each other. A very long year and a quarter, I was amused at how we could stay so ignorant over our long-due meeting. I'd like that to happen again, ANYBODY - even those with whom I'm mutually unacquainted.

Did something goofy today; it wasn't cheap; but I'd decided not to let money spoil the kick; then spent my next few hours frequently going over the thought if it was worth it. And then got a call from a guy who wanted to give me money!
The task executed was something whose very point lies in being pointless, but with the most purest geekiest of intentions - no material pursuits for own self, though. Because the thought had been conceived a few days back and almost on the fringes of execution, I crossed lines, even though I was required to be very specific with my day's spendings.
Then the call from my ex-employer/client in the afternoon - He's a pilot, so not among the ones I'd expect being affected from the recent Kingfisher-Jet deal and its aftermath. But as it turns out: he was trained on the 440 very recently and now they've decided to do away with 440s (or something close) and fly only with 420s. So he's quite irritated over that fact - He was in town, and wanted to strike off the pending payments. That was surprising; the money itself knocking back. A few more of such occasions and I'll be drawing maxims.

While at home - exhausted - for that pit stop, I turned the fan to the max. Seconds later I realised that my room was lacking that feature! There was a hole where the fan should've been, like it was sucked up by somebody on the roof. The landlady had taken it away for repairs, I'd asked her earlier. She'd been to my room in my absence and had leisurely run her eyes around every detail, and had found it unkempt, citing the spider webs for example. I politely replied "Frankly, I like them, won't like to disturb their active season of aphid-snacking." She was bewildered and gave me a short stare, followed by that understanding nod which is only a conditioned response that people use to their defense when they conversate with the least botheration; mere noise from the other person would pacify them. Reminds me of the scene in "The Darjeeling Limited" where Adrien Brody, holding a baby, is sitting alongside a villager, both of whom seem to making a conversation.

A day of excess in cycling.
A day of excess in walking.
A day of excess in eating.
A day of excess in spending (and withdrawls).
A day of excess in socialising.
Also learned a process and a fact.

At least something real and possible to write about.
Take that, previous blogpost.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Moments of searching for an expression

TASK: Give "your side on you".

[stares blankly at the laptop screen]
[pizza on the sofa; reminds of yesterday's lunch]
[a cup of coffee. was nice.]
[cigarettes butts. have to stop smoking - them, not me.]
[back to staring at the laptop screen. no emotional ejaculate in hand. no success.]

It's hard to turn inwards. I wonder what I've been doing all this time. I do remember reading and essay "The Yogi and the Commissar" (by Arthur Koestler) a few days ago and identifying myself with the Yogi who sees 'inwards'. But where did that inward vision go? I'm having a very hard time digging up my latest in thoughts; can't even detail a state of mind. I think I just failed at answering the question my friend put forward; this is particularly embarrassing.
Maybe it was because right now I'm away from my room, everything that forms my memory and evokes out that intangible something - maybe intense - is at a distance. That hints at how good an image of imperfection I'll be if I ever fall in love, haha.

It's dawn, as my clock suggests and I'm still awake. Would sleep be a cure? Or nostalgia? Or creating something fictional, then destroying it upon conception, then feeling a longing for it?