Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Friday, May 13, 2016

Ranjit v Katrina

I had to appear
I had to disappear

I had to be powerful
I had to be powerless

I had to gain
I had to lose

I had to suspend
I had to choose

I had to make
I had to break

I had to command
I had to beg

I had to rise
I had to fall

I had to consolidate
I had to dissolve

I had to tell one
I had to tell all

I had to feign goodness
I had to feign badness

I had to lie to reach the truth
I had to scream the truth aloud

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Sexual illetracy

What are you? - asexual, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, polysexual, intersexual, pansexual, transsexual, bigender, trigender, transgender, heteroflexible, homoflexible, bi-curious, androphiliac, gynephiliac, HUG, LUG, BUG...?
Can't be sure? Me neither.

Coincidentally, I've started with Polyamorous Perversity alongside. It had a distinct design input phase, and even more distinct gameplay (as you can guess from the screenshot below).


Monday, October 08, 2012

Virgin ideas

One archaic concept still dominant in our present (Indian subcontinent) society is that of keeping one's virginity intact. Humour me here - so a girl could talk dirty, watch porn, flirt, go out, exchange saliva (and a variety of other fluids), let you annihilate their breasts, give and get blowjobs, let you finger her, even let you take her anally, and still call herself that - virgin? I know a lot through shared experience to register this rant - thanks, friends (and smaller subsets). It's just too hard for us guys to comprehend what a girl means when she claims being that. I guess is equally hard (or harder) the other way round, when a guy makes such claims.

It's quite like asking for vegetarian food, then being served a plate piled with dog meat, bull testicles, roast cockroach, and snake viscera, and then foolishly asking "you sure there's no chicken in it?" How can someone imagine us to believe in the concept of "virgin" anymore, and why are these people keen on passing this futile notion to their offspring?

Monday, July 02, 2012

The Hindu : Committed patriot of the Indian jungle

"The identity of a country depended not so much on its mutable human culture as on its geomorphology, flora and fauna, its natural basis." - M. Krishnan

The Hindu : Opinion / Op-Ed : Committed patriot of the Indian jungle

Said M.K. Gandhi: "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members."
Even though the above quote seems inspired from it, let us not forget guys like M. Krishnan, who were one step closer towards my personal idol.

Speaking of personal, having Krishnan's 100th anniversary coincide with the dream I woke up to is quite shaking -

... I start to set the steam, starting with venerating kisses on her thighs and leg, taking her stocking off in the process. To my amusement, her face suddenly turns pale, and her mouth open, as if she's trying to scream. I assume she's a bit mental and try consoling her. Her eyes are fixed on something, her face contorted in a look of terror that I find so alien for this moment. She limply raises a hand to point to the doorway.
I turn around, to find a black panther sitting, wide-eyed. The door he must've come in from, is now blocked, and even the animal seems confused in planning its escape. It settles to the right edge of the bed, a mere few feet from us, crouched, snarling.

I don't panic, and stand up on the bed. I'm instructing P to be calm and move to far end of the bed, but she's too scared to do anything.
I repeat myself loudly. The panther replies with a threatening growl. It then jumps onto a table at the far end in its own panic. I try shifting to a position where I could have access to the door, but the panther has some ideas of its own - trying to reach for the door, it skirts the edge of our bed, where it gets tangled in the same blanket that P is under.

Drama ensues. Shrieks and growls fill the room. I give blanket a tight shrug which not only makes the panicked feline spring itself free, and back onto the table, growling, but also gives me a chance to access the door. I carefully open the door. After anxious few seconds, the panther is driven out.
I follow the feline to the hallway, where I find a full-grown deer (बारासिंघा) startled by the sight of a predator scurrying past, and darts off opposite to the direction the panther went in ...

Thursday, May 31, 2012

One blowjob, please

"hi. one blowjob, please"
"very well, sir, please follow me this way. it will be 200"
"200! i've only got 50"
"i'm sorry sir, 50 won't do... well, i'm easy game. 100 would be alright"
"lady, you push me hard for a bargain there, but that's okay with me, too."
"this way, please."
"how about something for entree? Say, foreplay?"
"im sorry, sir, foreplay is only included in the long-term-relationship course that will cost you much more"

12.9174214, 77.6389647

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thus Spake Baba Damdama

"Give me, woman, thy little truth!"
"Thou goest to women? Do not forget thy whip!"

I can picture at least 6 faces in Indian media who regularly come and talk on the talk shows talking a lot more at the usage of the above lines, that come from a 19th century classic ("Thus Spake Zarathustra", by Fakir W Nietzsche). Yes, Nietzsche (hereafter referred to as N) was known to be a misogynist. Its nothing surprising, though, his perspective has been a recurrent one through history and cultures. There's always the occasional ruffle in media over incubation-chamber analogy of the female specia. My (narrow) anthropological finds, though, make me believe that the modern society (American?) seems a little better - see how Maroon 5 and James Blunt can change the world for the good!

Some other great anti-pickup lines from the same chapter:
: Everything in woman is a riddle, and everything in woman hath one solution—it is called pregnancy.
: Two different things wanteth the true man: danger and diversion. Therefore wanteth he woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
: Man shall be trained for war, and woman for the recreation of the warrior: all else is folly.

I pretty much LOLd at every line word up there.

What makes me even more fascinated with this perspective of N is its resonance with that of holy men across the holy Himalayan circuit (as much of it that i've seen i.e. Hardwar, Rishikesh, Kedarnath). Nothing better to start with drawing parallels than how the book starts:
When Zarathustra was thirty years old, he left his home and the lake of his home, and went into the mountains. There he enjoyed his spirit and solitude, and for ten years did not weary of it.

That makes N your average Baba Damdama (Baba = holy man) that you find sprawling all over the lower Himalayan tract. They (holy men) have little veneration for anything but their own philosophy, much like Zarathustra. They are filled to the cup with misogynistic takes on anything concerning the...uh...gyne. They make the male species seem like some divine mutation, out-of-line with regular evolution.

But those folks and my old roomie aside, we have good faith that the leading generations will not think likewise.
That is because soon after independence, Jawaharlal Nehru commissioned a scientific study to put an end to this woman-vs-man debate once and for all...
The average woman was found to have an IQ of 3 pigeons. The average man was comparably smarter, about 5 pigeons.* Don't be surprised - pigeons are smart and were considered appropriate benchmark at that time.

This performance - which makes 'venerate' a synonym to 'torture' - is no reason to make any gender generalisation.

* In marital union, however, their (man-woman's) combined IQ surprisingly reflected a huge drop, to an average of 1/2 a pigeon. This fact of an average Indian pigeon outsmarting an average Indian couple, is why pigeon was denied the status of national bird. The Peacock was chosen (though later studies proved that even the Peacock outsmarted the average Indian couple, it was too late to retract the Peacock, as our handicraft industry had already put this bird on over 1,80,000 export items - as the reader should know, that handicrafts lobby is very strong here in India, only next to the mixing-blood-in-ketchup lobby).

Monday, November 07, 2011

Wrong Math, Sir, Wrong Math!

I have a secret game. I had expected its disclosure with the publishing of my best-selling biography around 2030AD; but that motive can be given up for the short-term reward of sharing with a close circuit of netizens my worldly misadventures, and another malicious aspect of urban existence.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Manhood Cure विश्वास के साथ

Step I. Build up a cogent argument:

"Upon marriage the man cannot satisfy his woman, has to bear the embarrassment because the female has manifold lust inside her, and wants only the man who is abundant - not one who comes too early and goes limp. The female starts to loathe such men. At that time the man - who is ill of the disease of impotency - feels great pangs in his heart about why he's weak, why he doesn't feel the hunger, why his disposition is such, and why he has to face ridicule because of his lower stamina. Even with a proper diet there's no improvement in his body - waist, chest, and legs, why they develop a pain? When he sees all this, he is scared and feels guilt at his past actions, and in such agitated state, says to himself..."

Step II. Entrust faith in (quack) cure:

"You or your friend caught in any kind of illness for a long time, and finds wasting thousands of bucks on ridiculous medicines, and is depressed, then without hesitation visit our regal store.
WITH CERTAINTY
We will give you good advise that you shouldn't worry everything has a cure, but to understand it you need experienced practitioner and proven medicines. We have been into this for a long time, curing all complex and secret illnesses, and have thousands of patients who thought their life was a disaster but with our cure they regained their original potency and felt joyous, and have managed to make children. Come, today itself, to be filled with vigor and change the impotent man to a man, and the man, to a young man..."

Step III. Profit!!!

[१० रूपए की मूंगफली के साथ मिली काला नमक की पुडिया पर यह ज्ञान प्राप्त हुआ]

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Where are the airstrikes?

Thoughts always stray into fiction, fiction that is more like a fantasy than anything constructive or creative, fiction around the flesh. Hands sliding down the same cracks over and over again; working on the same breasts over and over; lips through the same kisses, till some stirrings make a grab for attention – more often going acknowledged.
Where’s the boy of the wonderworld, who would wander out and wonder if it’s a nice day for airstrikes – Viorar vel til loftarasa? With a displacement in musical preferences comes a displacement in personality. Though associating self - described above - with (a newfound appreciation for) The Flaming Lips would be sacrilege, it’s the missing Sigur Ros, Pink Floyd, and the power of suggestion that rattles.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Our son is researching on outer space

All the sincere thoughts as a foreword to this day now possibly stand as mere rhetoric, knowing well that intrusive thoughts about intergalactic affairs would keep me involuntarily occupied. I should not be reading about sex in space, if I did want a sane day. Well, leaving out the recreational aspects of such read, it is an important research area on the future of humankind. Vomit Comet and The Uranus Experiment clips could give me more practical insight.
Imagine a spacecraft of the future, with a crew of a thousand ladies, off for Alpha Centauri, with 2,000 breasts bobbing beautifully and quivering delightfully in response to every weightless movement . . . and I am the commander of the craft, and it is Saturday morning and time for inspection, naturally.
I wish, for once, my Saturday morning would start with such hilarious inspections.