Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Horlicks and Hashish from childhood

It is an ideal coincidence, that for the first time I felt like having Horliks, as is, in the powder form. Both baby bro and me would love that way of ending our kitchen's supplies of Horlicks/Complan/Bournvita/Milo that way in the growing up days. (that, and GRD, ooh that sweet sand). It not only brings back childhood memories of a small d5 apartment  (flat) with those mesh on the kitchen door that we'd push through and walk out of with the same ingredients as I do as of this day, it also brings back something more important: focus.

I am (still) living out a childhood - the longest running illness I think I have developed. I could say my childhood continued into my early twenties. That strife, the will to be (without knowing what it was about), the unordinary moments that combined to tune me to a happiness I call my own and a pursue an entity (whose sketch lines are still in pencil).
[the preceding thought took me back to a lot of things. but i should 'expand' on them later.] that same now seems to come back. i'm fucking laughing again.

And another important addition:
Goodbye, hashish. you're in shiv's custody now. i'm not gonna ask for you for a long while, so start forgetting me. you have been a firecracker in my life - my initiation into so many circles, my crescendo on so many days, and my curling ray of sunlight. we've known each other for a good while now. remember the first time we met*? here's a secret: i'd vomited, since i felt so clumsy around you. since, i learnt to be better around you. you don't make me vomit anymore. we have come close. you know all my secrets, as if you've been running in my system.

it's said that you'll make me feel light, but i look forward to having a lighter head.

* in V's apartment in airoli

PS: the last proclamation didn't consummate, and yours truly was back on the hashwagon in a short while.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Homecamp Basecamp

Didn't get to debut the tent on the previous trek, so thought of doing so right here in my apartment. Blogging from inside my tent right now :)
Short note: Today was curious - got up in time, had a bath, got a slick new shaved look, got ready to move out, and then just spent the entire day in front of the computer. So I have been "camping" in more than one sense today.


Say hello to my tent buddy, Blush


This one with the sheet on

Thursday, September 13, 2012

One Mere Rotation

The storm growing brighter
The frames getting lighter
The planes fanning wider
The riders going sprighter
The doom's gate appearing whiter
The sunset bloom receding tighter
The blinkers choking a fighter
The ghosts scaring a biker

On the 22" IPS LCD the Spiti memories of a mere month back seem so nostalgic (and courageous, too). I sometimes find myself lost of where I'm to start finding myself.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Bootstrap Music - Leider Geil

Robbie Williams entering my head this morning was unexpected; it also reminded me of my silly musical meanderings - he was one of the first faves to claim of, and there is a surviving photograph somewhere of a school picnic with me listening to an album of his (in cassette form) on my walkman. The music I bootstrapped my musical existence with makes for a curious narrative.

Childhood was in a void of international artists. We only had Doordarshan, you see, and on it there was Chitrahaar (and later Sueprhit Muqabala) to look forward to - no Billboard Top 100 until much later when cable television made entry into the household. A friend of mine did have Cable TV, but I would be more keen on scheming a plot that will have his old gnarly aging uncle leave me with half his inheritance, or ended in a peek of her sister Jessica's tits, or sourcing the latest scraps of pornographic paper of human forms I'd never imagined before - oh, the wankers that we were back then. But I still managed to know about Stereo Nation (if you count that as international; they still maintain annoying site) and Shaggy (garbled enough to be hip).

At this time, my cousin sis - who is a year younger to me, btw - could claim to be my leading authority on music. She had cable, yes. She had a VCR, yes. She had a coterie of uptown friends (who, behind locked doors, cried their teenage hearts out thinking of a sinking Leo while listening to My Heart Will Go On). And the most influential of all, a trio of wannabe hipsters in the form of her cousins (from her dad's side) in varying age brackets. It was through her influence that I heard of names like Spice Girls and Whigfield.

In 'those' days, this 'modern' music wasn't available, or if it was then it would cost thrice my pocket-money, so visiting a music shop was more like visiting a museum - can only see and not buy. The way over this obstacle was to record your compilations. The way for that was to either have a dual-cassette-deck tape recorder at home and a sea of cassettes to record from, or asking the music shop owner to do it for a negligible feasible charge.
Since Pa had, ages ago, brought home a behemoth Panasonic dual-deck player/recorder, I tried my hand at making my own compilations, with albums (cassettes) sourced from rich and hip friends. I didn't do too well. So, going for the alternative, I approached a trusted music shop in Kamla Nagar near Delhi University.

The modus operandi was: to buy blank cassettes/tapes - preferably Sony or Panasonic (and understandably 90-min tapes over the 60-min ones) - then prepare a list of songs to record which would total upto the recording time on the tape, then hand it over to the music store guy, alongwith half the nett charges for the recording (for the charge of Rs5 per song), then come back a couple of days later to get your bliss. [Yes, I've always been a pirate, but the lengths we'd go to back then, compared to today, is an amusing reflection]

Here's some contents of my first compilation (I eventually didn't include Shaggy, as it was too scandalous to be listening in front of parents):
  • Whigfield - Sexy Eyes
  • Whigfield - Saturday Night
  • Spice Girls - Wannabe
  • Stereo Nation - Baby Don't Break My Heart
  • No Mercy - Where Do You Go
  • Los del Rio - Macarena
  • ...

I would probably vomit if I come across such a compilation in the future. Back then, it was the coolest audio recording I had in my possession. Leider Geil.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Remember the time

Sunbeaten, yet soaked, you sit, resting your head on your backpack. Against sleep that slowly creeps up, you remind yourself of the long way ahead on this day, to merely ensure that you can spend a comfortable night. From the corner of your sight a shape rolls in, the same horizon where you just rolled in from. It is soon deciphered to be a motorbike. Another loner like you, only that you are two, which, though, makes the journey safer, but no more convenient.

The loner stops a stone's throw from you, ceasing the thumping engine with a croak. And pulls out a handycam. The tall mountains, the pristine lake, the deserted yellow paddle boat, the cloud of dirt across the tattered tarmac... everything in good focus for a sensational retelling of your memories. Then a tilt shot - from one of the surrounding peaks, down to the two cyclists who seem drained of all energy (and some of the zeal from earlier in the day) but without any signs of hesitation of finishing the day elsewhere ahead. To him, this is heroic. A 'Cool, guys!...' trails from his mouth involuntarily from some primal corner. Those two cyclists make the feature in this clip, one that connects with the ideal we've always drawn up for ourselves; all the rest becomes an establishing shot, kinda an entree, an introduction to the cooler of the cools, amid an amphitheatre of peaks.

When you look at yourself cramped or beaten-out, remember the time.

Monday, December 19, 2011

thistle bee ace

what the fuck do i do
what the fuck do i do
my head
hurts

my anger doesnt subside
i am trapped in my body with these feelings
it affects my whole life
it affects how i approach love

makes me want to react
to feel
to yell
to get mad
am i crazy? should i be locked up?
what do i do? i am dying out here.

and now i am back
i have remnants left
and i dont care
- i mean i say i dont
but i probably will

i don't know what i will do.
i just feel so unloved right now
which is weird, right?
everytime i have opened up
i end up on the ground
worse. i end up messed up.
i end up alone.
i am spent
i have nothing to give to anyone
seriously
life seems like an effort
sometimes
i can't take it anymore. dont you get it?


Someone told me: "There is truth in everything, even in error."
That's true. France didn't see it in the seventeenth century. They thought one could avoid error; and what's more, that one could live directly in the truth; It isn't possible; Hence Kant, Hegel, German philosophy: to bring us back to life; and make us see that we must pass through error to arrive at the truth.

What do you think about love?
The body had to come into it. Leibnitz introduced the contingent. Contingent truths and necessary truths make up life. German philosophy showed us that; in life, one thinks with the servitudes and errors of life; One must manage with that, that's true.

Shouldn't love be the only truth?
- For that, love would always have to be true

Do you know anyone who knows at once what he loves?
No. When you're twenty you don't know. All you know are bits and pieces, you make arbitrary choices. Your "I love" is an impure affair. But to be completely at one with what you love, you need maturity. That means searching. This is the truth of life. That's why love is a solution, on condition that it is true.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Longest surnames

ca. 2005, college Library
विचार मंडली: Pande, Pandey, Joseph

Aim: Find a lengthy Indian surname to beat Schwarzenegger (14)
Narayanamurthy (14)
Radhakrishnan(13)
Bhattacharya (12)
Gopalakrishnan (14)
Venkataswamy (12)
Muralidharan (12)

Winner
Rajagopalacharya (16)

Can ye think of anything longer?

Friday, February 06, 2009

Rescuing Nostalgia


I managed to get this very odd scan of one of my older negatives, with almost otherworldy shapes and colors. There were images from Lucknow, abruptly entering into the mountain 'scapes of Nainital, and in between was this one lost frame. Upon bumping the contrasts up and back, I could vaguely make out the details - there was something like the DNA Helix, or bucky balls. And suddenly the memory came up vivid... January 2, 2008, an awesome morning when I was awesomely punctual to leave home early, needing to reach ISBT to tag along with my cousins in their car to Nainital. Being so awesome as to reach there much earlier, I decided to be fruitful with my camera. And this was born - an underexposed child o' mine.
The DNA Helix is a huge boxlike pile of colorful balls atop a blueline, hiding behind the spring-green colors of a DTC bus, and low in the frame is the yellow roof of auto rickshaws that crowd the roads in the morning hour.