Saturday, March 28, 2009

Can't Learn to love/live with it

It is absurd finding the most exciting of people around you high on injecting nothing but air. All the great promise they hold about life is based on the great promise that it happened the same with a billion others before them - a shady decision since it's made on empirical evidence. In their current framework of things, they see progress - slow, but stable, but unsatisfying - an inevitable consequence, and adds the label of 'realism' to it to finally keep on living with that conviction. The majority sees progression as a chemical reaction - when it isn't. What is a certain chemical reaction is that inside me which triggers my emotions of anxiety/sadness on listening to friends professing about the 'you have to come to terms with it' aspect of life, which obviously means that my selfish genes see that as counter-productive to their proliferation... I'm on the fringes of either being awesomely right or going into a mental disorder here - when considering the consequences of my observation at a greater length - but will accept the way it goes with a great gladness.

Things are such a pile of shit right now, that if you still feel sane, you have to be either a great artist who sees great expressions of art in that shit, or that very shit itself. I'll be frank that I'm distressed at lots of things which aren't the way I thought they'd be; and irritated because now I'm being taught to take in that they are so. I think that underlines the character of the ordinary - internalising even the wrong out there is and assuming it to be an inseparable part of their character and hence taking offence at anything that ever complains about it. I wonder if they can ever be patriotic in the right sense.

rightnow: going to be sleeping at a friend's place, possibly with my head inside the helmet since there are too many mosquitoes in the room; got back from some great food close to Humayun's Tomb, racing along the Noida toll road and hitting 1XX kmph in the process - no way of confirming since even my speedometer's broke now, coming across a prostitute applying makeup by the side of the road close to Delhi Zoo, riding past surreal landscape of construction workers steamrolling a stretch of road at night under the lights and smoke. forgot gems back at home.
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