Sunday, March 21, 2010


Weird dreams again. I underwent pangs of calling off a relationship for, like, 30 minutes today, all inside my head during sleep.
Even my first coffee after waking up from the dream turned bad coz of the milk
And my stomach doesnt feel too well from the chicken (of 3 kinds), fish (of 2 kinds), squid, and crab I had yesterday.
The dogs of the neighbourhood look needy and cute on this breaking dawn. Might as well step outside myself, pet them, go out, trek, jog, climb trees, spot deer.

after marriage

K: where's the economic bnenefit of her working
K: you can let her live on her salary put your salary into investmnets
A: i would rather prefere to earn more and let her live off her dream
K: let her do things of your choice
K: mere khyal se one has to go for his career one has to concenterate on the family

[this transcript prepared over a vodka&rum session]

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

My life to live

Coinciding with the 2009 women's day was my viewing of "Vivre sa vie" (1968) aka "My Life to Live", about the spiraling life of a girl Nana (Anna Karina). The movie ends with the realisaiton that it was never, indeed, her life to live.
The movie is considered an epic in French New Wave cinema. It goes far from much of the film-making that we know of, even the format of the script divided into a play of mere 12 scenes/tableaux. It'd take some conditioning to appreciate it, though I did catch some of the wave in this new wave...the Joan of Arc screening, her first time, and the philosopher. This kind of cinema needs great involvement and noticing nuances and cues.

The Oval Portrait by Edgar Allan Poe

It could be our story: about a painter obsessed with portraying his love.

And in sooth some who beheld the portrait spoke of its resemblance as of a mighty marvel and a proof not less of the power of the painter than of his deep love for her whom he depicted so surpassingly well. But at length, as the labor drew nearer to its conclusion there were admitted none into the turret for the painter had grown wild with the ardor of his work and turned his eyes from the canvas rarely, even to regard his wife. And he would not see that the tints which he spread upon the canvas were drawn from the cheeks of her who sat beside him.

And when many weeks had passed and but little remained to do save one brush upon the mouth and one tint upon the eye the spirit of the lady again flickered up as the flame of the lamp. And then the brush was given and then the tint was placed. And for one moment, the painter stood entranced before the work he had wrought. But in the next, while he yet gazed, he grew tremulous and aghast and crying with a loud voice: "This is indeed Life itself!" turned suddenly to regard his beloved: She was dead

Wanna play Muscle March

Monday, March 08, 2010

I dream of genie

I daydream very well. And lately, is been a reminder of how badly I need more of it.
So there was this one very interesting sequence while catching a nap in the office; there were images from my past, images that were a fantasy, images that I can't frame.

Just a couple of hours back, some channel switching on the tele got me to Discovery Channel, where they were showing x-ray footage of a snake swallowing its prey. Until that moment I hadn't been aware of this missing scene from that earlier dream - one involving snakes. I remember myself stepping into the frame of an old village courtyard, and upon sensing danger, looking about for snakes, and finally finding one - a 5m long Indian rock python.

With great dreams come lavish interpretations. Snakes can hint towards:
- Knowledge
- Temptation/Libido
- Transformation/Transition
- Failure from committment
- Hangover from past (relationships?)

The hard part of it is trying to choose your line. Trying to determine the precedence of cause over effect is always a dirty ground. A snake dream state diagram should help explain things better. In the making...