Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Unrestrained Worlds Inside

Living my days in alcoholic desolation, yet I'm seeing friends all the time. Like it was just yesterday. No, today. I'm 50 miles away from them, a million miles away from some, yet they were around. How concerned and caring of them. Hmh, some will obviously infer that its the magic of internet and gifts of technology I'll be talking about. No. It's something that exists since the primeval, a technology too complex for current worlds, something created by evolution and being understood by us mortals (with the ultimately purpose to take them over).
I opened my eyes
And my world was lost,
forever.
The subconscious works in baffling ways. Dreams, some say, is how our head processes inconsistent thoughts, our actual experiences. And so I end up dreaming - besides the goofy, the epic, the paranormal and the sensual - about people and friends. The highs of a dream are difficult to match, as long as you can remember it vividly. I guess everybody's dreams always include a dash of the surreal, so are matchless in the real world - or what seems 'real'. Dreams defy the dimension of time: I met 4 of my friends across the state in a single hour of sleep. What a beauty, a great way to manage precious time! Unless their lives were pacing with uncertainty, there is no reason why a dream can't replace a generic chat.
They say an idle mind is a devil's workshop, but the body in its greatest state of idleness is forming us into what no real world thought chains can. It is the most real perception of the world, since it comes from what one subconsciously registers - a gazillion times more than what can be framed in words. Effectively, I'm analysing and knowing people while 'consumed' in myself. All in my free time. No money, no appointments, no conversations, no travel. They just happen and you wake up with a fresh memory and fresh perspective (of a person or thing), and a concern that stems not from propriety but our honest individual will. The concern is REAL.
My dreams, in a sense, have been a great equaliser. When I'm left to see inwards, I can't possibly follow the external hierarchy, the facade. I've never dreamt about the hand that feeds me or the hand that leads me; not necessarily. Dreams relate to the ones who make an impression deep inside and the 'contact', even if silently. My true celebrity cloud. If there are people that you always wanted to know, and you're kinda introvert like me, you'll know them better even before you've spoken a word to them.

"You think we know each other for a few months, but I've known you for years". Even me throwing something this trite holds credence. You know why.

Because there are worlds inside our heads that only we can understand and justify, my stress on individuality is ever so more. Each mind thrives with genuine humanity, only that we cover it up to merge with the society. The struggle to survive with the dogs breeds the evil inside us. Can we ever have a society that can be as pure and caring as we are in our abandon? Can we ever make dreams communal?

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