Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Overwhelmingly close to nothingness

I find myself into another prosaic venture, all coz I need to rid my mind of JS right now.

Sometimes i feel overwhelmingly close to nothingness, renunciation - look up the definition in Merriam Webster for a better aligning with my thoughts here; so much that I blast music into my ears to escape this foreseeable fantasy, just like i do to escape my flights of grandeur, of fighting the big battle, of sticking out in story of our civilization (but, alas, history is much like fiction). Ending up nowhere would be superbest, since that leaves me out of any factory-made mould (there, history "uncomplicates", so even our purposes are opposite). I seem a candidate for a dream, fleeting. From my construction of fantasies I become one myself - Howzzat!
I will awkwardly slip in and out; will end anstartywhere, will anywhere.
My circles fluctuate, more like recede, though I'd like them to be displaced. [My gut/core wants to use the word 'spin' and 'vortex' here, but I find it hard to make them 'fit in']

Oh, another aspect to muse ponder upon (I've been checking use of 'muse' since learning about its roots as a more potent reference to goddesses from Greek mythology ref. Scott Berkoun's (sic) "The Myths of Innovation" - it feels embarrassing to use the word 'muse' recklessly. 'ponder' is more apt, since it means merely to 'weigh' or 'appraise', which doesn't hint of a mental or creative leap) is the cyclical nature of things. Ignatius' Wheel of Fortuna. The Yin and the Yang. I don't understand nature that well, but our champions have often come a full circle (even Gandhi, as I learnt today, from a racist, fornicating, enema-delivering personality to what we know him as). Can either imagine it as a transition (as with the Shadow Warrior logo), or as being buoyed back into greatness from the depths of some samundar-roopi situation.
Human slingshot, I fancy one now.
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