Friday, December 07, 2012

Hoodie alert

"Idiots"
Had my own Zimmerman moment of sorts in the form of security guard and desk attendant who wet their pants seeing me in a hoodie. If not for an attempt to delve deeper into my social experiment, I would've just walked beyond the point where I'd already walked beyond them. But I turned around, anyways, pretending to have heard their shouts just then.

One has to be deliberate at mischief to both cause mischief, as well as to study the human psychology. After a long, long break I decided to wear my hoodie today. Winters are a good excuse for looking hip while wearing utility garments - the hoodie serving as a tee, a windsheeter, and a headgear at the same time, eliminating my need to 'gear up' as I went out. As with shorts, same with the hoodie - nobody takes you for a professional, or to frame it in other words "somebody out for generating value". They assume you're out for a picnic of sorts.

This 'picnic' front is greatly envied (and hence frowned-upon) by the blue-collared professional, and suspiciously looked upon by the security guard (who're so used to their kin looking all the same that they assume that professionals ecosystems of all sorts can't function without a dress code). When somebody doesn't fit into their assumptions, the blue-collared professional frowns harder, and the security guard starts making flailing gestures.

That is why professional environments look professional - because they make it difficult for the unprofessional professional to be, uh... professional. That is also why I call these professional environments and personnel 'superficially' professional - because of their reliance on a 'profiling' system; which is just another word for laziness. How else do you think social engineering works? - it's thanks to these retard profiling systems. It is also the reason why geeks hate these so-called professional setups. It is also why I can't function normally, since I'm already deprived of my freedom to cycle to work (yes, another issue, that), wear what I fucken want, and personalize my workspace (think coder caves).

So there I was, turning back to the security attendant who'd shown a great concern to investigate this hoodie hoodlum - ironically armed with a office laptop bag - to get her ass off the chair, and start in my direction. I am polite to those who show any iota of sincerity to their job.

First social tactic - I remove the hoodie to allay her suspicions. Lack of battle scars on my face, no missing earlobes, and a display of well maintained hair, and a groomed face, would make me approachable. It disrupts her belief chain.
"Sir, ID"
"I don't have one. You never ask for it."
"Its a rule."
"You never had this rule before... I just walk in all the time"
"We keep making new rules"
"Oh yeah? 'Making new rules'? Try coming at me with something else"
[I could see that we were going nowhere with this]
Since learning that the smile evolved from "monkeys and apes who often used barely clenched teeth to portray to predators that they were harmless", I regularly use it to the same effect. So, I push my eyeballs out and show teeth. She let me be.
Social hacks FTW.

But this is India, where hoodie isn't popular enough to be a symbol for anything. This is India, where assorted headgear are seen bobbing up and down in all environments. I guess these people rely not on a "looks suspicious" match, but rather on a "not one of us" match - so one who doesn't look like everyone else has gotta be disruptive. Disruptive indeed, today, but only enough to blog about it, and make a tiny dent in the universe.

To reiterate the rule, again:
Into some needless confrontation? - push your eyeballs out and show teeth.

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